Friendship, Love And Hate

Chapter 16 <Dead to me>

What was more frustrating? The fact that I can't just live in the moment and not worry about what might happen or the fact that every time I got happier I had more to lose.

At school I was living my best life with my friends and actually having fun, joking about every stupid thing and making fun of each other. Singing along to embarrassing songs. I've never felt more alive.

When I was away from my friends I was sad, not because they weren't here, but because if they are not here nothing bad can happen, I can't say anything that would make them get mad. I can't do stupid things that would make them mad. If I'm not with them I can't ruin the friendship I have.

I was so frightened that everything I love can disappear any second...

I woke up with slightly spinning head. I think I slept just too little. Aaron brought me home only at 3.a.m. thankfully my dad didn't notice... I think... if he did I'm sure he would say something.

Everything would be usual if delicious pancake smell wouldn't come from downstairs. Dad must be in a really good mood if he is making breakfast.

I got dressed today a little more thoughtful than usual. I did it for Aaron. It's not like I felt I need to dress for him. Because I think that he likes me the way I am. I just want to dress for him and not need to. I came to realization that that is major difference.

I took my bag and went to kitchen since I wasn't going to go back to my room.

I walked downstairs following the food smell. I walked around the corner just to find a women standing by the counter with her back to me. What the...

She turned around. Meredith! "Good morning Victoria" she saw that I was shocked and that made her a little insecure. I saw that she was shifting her eyes everywhere but me. Well this was awkward... and weird...

I was still looking at her weirdly like watching her every move. "I...I didn't know what you like. So I made some pancakes and toasts. But if you don't like that... I...I can make something else" she said rushing.

I didn't say anything, I took a seat by the counter and took one pancake on my plate. That probably was the best pancake I have ever had... but I didn't tell her that. I need to keep my cool until I get to know her. I'm assuming she will come 'visit' again since she is the first women dad has brought home and dad doesn't strike me as the one night stand type. My dad is more like, if he had a women it would be his one and only.

Then out of nowhere doorbell rang "I'll get it." My dad yelled before I could make a move, I bet he is thinking that Aaron will be there. He has gotten quite overprotective of me lately asking me about Aaron. I always said he is just friend. I guess he would go completely mad if he knew what I and Aaron are now.

Wai... what are we? We are not a couple. But also we are not really just friends. You know since friends don't kiss each other. Well... I guess that depends. But we are not friend who kiss, because that's weird. But what if that's all he wants? What if he would just say that yesterday was a mistake? Maybe I just caught him in a state where he was vulnerable and he wanted to get his mind of things and I was just there. But the again... why would he ask me on a date? And then again he never said it was a date....

I was so overthinking this... and everything else.

"Grandma Lauren is here." A woman voice yelled coming in the kitchen. What a 'good' way to start morning.

"Victoria. Good morning honey" she said to me before she turned to Meredith. Oh this is going to be fun... or not...

I tried to stop the 'who blinks losses' game Lauren and Meredith was playing except Lauren was full on detective mode now but Meredith was scarred as sheep. "Grandma why are you here?" I asked her.