107 Miles

Chapter Eight

I walk into the hospital to see John for the first time since he went into a coma. It's been a week and I don't think I'm ready to see him, but I never will be. As I walk through the walls of the hospital, I am filled to the brim with anxiety. I can hear my heart beating in my chest so loud that it sounds like a helicopter flying above.

I have one of my infamous migraines today. Really, I've had it since my sister called me a week ago and told me John was hurt. At least Mike must be doing a good job keeping the firm updated because I haven't been bothered by Louis since I've been here. Honestly, I haven't thought about the firm or my clients one time since this all started.

I tell the woman at the desk I am here to see John and see says a man is in there with him, but I can go on in. To my surprise, it's someone I never thought I would see again. The boy I dated in high school. The one I was supposed to marry. The one that got away.

"Joshua," I accidentally whisper. The most beautiful man in the world turns around and catches me in his brown eyes. Those eyes I know all too well. Deep but not dark. Kind and charming. He wears a striped button-down shirt, pants that are a little too tight, and his curly brown hair rests disheveled atop his head. I'm actually glad to see nothing has changed about his appearance.

"Katrina," he says to me returning the nostalgia. "I was just visiting John. How are you?" he says with a normal voice. If he can put on a brave face, then so can I.

"I'm okay, Joshua. I'm doing better than mom and dad, at least," I explain to him.

"Yeah I was going to stop by, but I figured they have been bombarded by everyone else in town, so I was waiting until the dust settles a little," he says with an easy tone. He's quite possibly the most laid-back man on earth. That's probably why he was so good for tight wound, stress ridden me.

"There have been a lot people around, so that's a good idea. How's your family? I haven't seen them in a while," I try to sound casual while saying it. The truth is seeing him here makes me want to tackle him with a giant hug and beg him to love me again.

"They're really good, Katrina. Still doing the same old thing but loving it. I'm actually working with my dad now at the inn. After you left, things got tough for them for a while. You know the market and all that nonsense, but we all bounced back stronger than before," Joshua says. He is moving closer as he says it. When he says my name, I shiver and I'm afraid he sees me do it. His eyes are locked on mine. God he's always been so good at keeping eye contact that it's intimidating.

I haven't seen him since the day he proposed to me before I went off to college. I told him I couldn't settle for the life I'd have to live here and that was that. Three years of dating to be ruined by one simple response to a question. It's been years of silence between us and now here he is. Tragedy is funny like that. It always brings people back together.

"So, I hear you're still in the big city working at a law firm," he says with a few ounces of sarcasm on the 'big city' part.

"Yep," I reply matching his sarcasm and he just laughs. "It's been really strange being back here," I say.

"I'm sure it has," he says, "You haven't missed too much around here though. I miss you, you know. Sometimes I... I think about us. What we were."

I feel myself blush at his words, but I wish I hadn't. I really don't want to get caught back up in him but he's like a fisherman catching me in his net and reeling me in.

"Yeah, for what it's worth, I think about you too. About us. But only for the memories' sake. I wouldn't change what I did. I can't afford to think like that," I tell him, but I'm not sure if I believe what I'm saying.

"Of course," he lets out a little laugh, "No sense dwelling on the past. I am really sorry about John. Katrina if you need anything, I mean anything, please let me know. Please. I just want to be there for you right now," Joshua says earnestly. "Well, I better get going. I told mom I'd come over and help her cook dinner. It was good to see you, Katrina, really," he says as he begins to leave the room. I want to take a chance here because I need to see him again. But he seems to read my mind before I can.

"Actually, I'm going to run by your house tomorrow and see your parents, is that cool? I don't want them to think I don't care or something," he says with caution.

"Yeah that sounds great, Joshua. I'll see you then," I say nervously and with that he begins to back out of the room, a smile on his face. His eyes keep contact with mine until he reaches the threshold. Oh, how I have missed those eyes.

I need to shake these thoughts. There are more important things right now than some nostalgic feelings. But was it nostalgia like I told him it was or was it still love? Either way it's not good. Mike came back in the middle of the night to make sure I was okay. Sure, we are currently functioning in a state of high misunderstanding, but I like him a lot and I'm not going to mess that up.