107 Miles

Chapter Nine

When Joshua pulls into our driveway the next day, I am sitting on the front porch with my parents and Mike. He gets out of his old, rusty truck he's had since we turned sixteen and walks up to the steps. He's wearing an old Elton John tour shirt and ripped jeans. It reminds me that we used to ride around in his truck blaring Elton. We kept the roads around town hot as we screamed the lyrics. He could really sing, and I tried to convince him to pursue it, but he couldn't see how great he was. His humility was astonishing even as a teenager. I wonder if he still remembers that "Honky Cat" was my favorite song. He always teased me for how silly it was, but I loved it with my whole heart and soul. Just as I did him.

Mom is so happy to see him that she nearly combusts. And dad was always so proud of Joshua's work ethic that he treated him like a son of his own back then and he still does. They always wanted me to settle down with a man like him. Dad embraces him after mom lets go. He returns the hugs with just as much tender passion that he was given them with. I feel Mike tense up beside me, so I decide to break the ice.

"Joshua this is Mike," I tell him. Joshua gives his signature smile, one that consists of one side of his mouth tilting upwards slightly more than the other, and shakes his hand.

"It's nice to meet you, Mike," he says. He doesn't inquire if he is my boyfriend or not and I'm glad. I don't know what Mike is to me right now, but I don't want to make any assumptions about it.

"Yeah you too, man," Mike says in a voice that's deeper than usual. I laugh a little under my breath at the sound of it, but it's a nervous laugh. These two men meeting could cause some serious problems. Or, more likely, will cause some serious problems.

"So, you work with Katrina?" Joshua asks him. And there it is. The what is he to me question. About a week ago, I would've been sure of the answer.

"Yep. We work together," he says with a hint of angst. My gut sinks a little at his words. Not that I want Mike to be overprotective or jealous, but I figured he would at least say we are dating.

"Very nice. She's probably a tough one to work with, huh?" Joshua teases. He has always been a teaser.

"Come on now... I'm not that bad," I challenge back with a smile.

"Okay sure. I guess you don't remember when we used to try to do our homework together. Everything's a competition in Katrina's world," Joshua says.

"I know. I experience it every day," Mike says flatly. Joshua just nods in response. He gets the hint that Mike and I are more than just coworkers.

Joshua sits on the porch with us for hours and we eat the apple pie he brought with him and talk about the old days. I can feel the strain in Mike's ego caused by Joshua's presence. But a part of me doesn't want Joshua to leave. I'm very conflicted.

When he does leave, he shakes my dad's hand, hugs my mom, and just looks at me for a moment before speaking. The look makes me remember that he once told me he never wanted to see me again. That night when I rejected his proposal, he told me I was rejecting him. But I never saw it that way. I just didn't want to settle for a small-town, simple life when I could live in the city and have my dream job. I wanted him to come with me, but he wanted me to stay with him. The memory stings my mind.

"It was really great to see you again, Katrina," he says and flashes me that diamond smile.

"Yeah good to see you too," I say with that same nostalgic voice I called his name in yesterday. But I break eye contact with him and lean into Mike.

My head starts pounding harder when Joshua's truck fades out of view. It feels like someone is pushing on my temples as hard as they can. "I'm going to go in and lie down," I tell Mike.

"Can I join you?" he asks. I give him a nod and he leads us inside.

When we get to my room, it's like a switch flips in Mike.

"So that's something else you left behind in this town," he says in a hasty tone, which I don't appreciate. His face is red, and his eyes are wide.

"I guess you could say that," I reply flatly.

"Was it serious? Your relationship, that is," he asks me in a boyish, condescending tone.

"Yeah you could say that," I say.

Mike looks like he's about to topple over with anger at my indifference to this conversation. His eyes get that serious look again, but this time they scream rage. "Will you say something else? Please just stop saying 'you could say that' for the love of God," he yells.

"Why are you yelling at me? I've done nothing wrong here!" I yell back at him.

"You won't tell me who that man is to you and clearly he's someone. I saw the way you look at him, Katrina! It's the way you look at me only with a hell of a lot more passion. I came all the way back to middle of nowhere Pennsylvania for you, 107 miles. So, tell me, was it serious?" he emphasizes the last three words. I wait a moment before I answer. When I do, it comes out like a tidal wave.

"I do not look at him the way I look at you, Mike. And even if he did, looks don't mean anything. You've been lying to my face all week and for what? I know you aren't okay so telling me you are isn't helping anyone! God, could you please just understand that?" I say. I'm the one full of rage now, my hands move rapidly as I speak. "If you must know, Mike, he was the one. He was the boy I always thought I'd end up with. He was the one who saw me when no one else did. He saved me from myself, okay? So, please don't interrogate me like I've committed some crime," I say and start walking out of my room.

Mike grabs my arm as I walk by him and holds me in place. I don't look at him. I can't look at him right now. There's a moment of complete silence, but it births no clarity. I shake off his grasp and go into Jennifer's bedroom alone. I hear Mike slide down the other side of the door. If only I could let him in.