The Outbreak

Chapter 8: Pleasure Through Tears

"I've seen things that no one should ever have to see. I've had to do things that no one should ever have to do. I've gone through things that I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy. Yet somehow, I'm still alive? Why don't other people get to live instead of me? Why couldn't it have been me? I think about that a lot. Thinking of things I could've done to protect them, or if I should've sacrificed myself to keep them safe. Or was it just fate? Were they supposed to die? Or was it me who was destined to die all along, and they just took a bullet for me, prolonging my time?"

(Flashback) Leslie sits cross-legged on her bed inside of a small bedroom. Jesse enters the bedroom and sits on the bed beside her. "You okay? I know you've had a rough couple of days", he asks. "I'm okay. Just a little banged up is all. So don't act like I'm the only one who's going through a rough time right now" Jesse looks down as Leslie looks up at him. She notices he isn't trying to flirt or make jokes and now she feels bad for saying it like that. "Thank you for saving me, Jesse. At the gas station". Jesse looks up at her. "It is a hard time for me right now. I didn't mean to come off as a jerk. I just get angry or defensive sometimes when I'm embarrassed", Jesse looks confused. "Embarrassed? Why are you embarrassed?" he asks, leaning closer. "I felt so vulnerable today. You had to save me from my own stupidity. I should have known better. God, I could've gotten you killed. I don't understand how you aren't mad at me for putting your life at risk. I'm just a screw-up, Jesse. You should have just left me to deal with my own problems". Jesse is surprised by what Leslie had said. He couldn't believe that someone with such a hard shell could be so hard on themself. "What are you talking about? I couldn't leave you behind" Leslie looks up at him. "Why? I just screw everything up. You almost died twice trying to save me. You don't even know me. To you, all I am is a liability. Someone you have to protect. Someone that's going to get you killed".He looks confused again. "To me, you're strong, brave, capable, dependable", he pauses. "And most of all, you're beautiful. In fact, you're probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I didn't save you the first time because I thought you needed someone to protect you, I saved you because I had faith in you. I saved you at the gas station because I couldn't lose you. I've only known you for a day and I already like you more than anyone else I've ever met. So no, I don't think you're a liability, or a screw up", he rests his hand on hers. "I think you're an amazing girl who deserves way more than what you think you do". Leslie blushes. No one has ever said anything like that to her before. No one has ever made her feel the way that Jesse does either. He seemed to have this effect on her now. Whenever she sees him, all she wants to do is smile. So in that moment, that's all she could do to show how she was feeling. Jesse took her smile as a hint, and he leaned in to kiss her. She thought about pulling away but then she asked herself, "why?". She liked the way he treated her. The was he appreciated her. So she kissed him back.

Leslie wakes up the morning after her new home was burned to the ground. She looks around, but she can't seem to find Gwen. She searches every room in the house but she can't seem to find her. She runs outside, limping while yelling Gwen's name, but there's no answer. Thinking the worst, she falls to the ground, exhausted and hurt. Hurt that the only person left that she loves has left her. Before long, she hears the dead approaching her. She knows she can't stay so she gets up and tries to run, but she falls from the pain of her wound. She falls to the ground and looks behind her to see the dead right behind her. Exhausted, she accepts her fate...then, out of nowhere, The dead in front of her gets stabbed from behind. It's Gwen. Gwen puts out her hand to help Leslie to her feet. They run together but everywhere they look there's just dead. They keep running but Gwen trips and falls onto her knife, forming a deep cut in her leg. One of the dead catches up to her and falls on top of her, trying to bite her. She screams in pain as Leslie comes back for her. Leslie takes out her knife and stabs it through the side of its head, then tries to help Gwen up, though it's difficult now that they're both badly injured. They make it back to the cabin and they lock the door after barely making it in. Gwen tries to walk but she doesn't make it far before falling. Leslie rushes to her aid as she crawls to the nearest wall. Leslie takes off her coat and wraps it around Gwen's leg, trying to stop the bleeding. She then notices that Gwen is holding her shoulder. She takes Gwen's hand away from her shoulder and sees a bite mark. "No...no, nononononono.....Gwen...". Gwen struggles to keep her eyes open. "Leslie...please don't let me turn", she asks. "Gwen, I can't do that. You know I can't", she says in disbelief. "Leslie, we both know what's coming. If the bite doesn't kill me, the blood loss will. Please don't let that happen to me", she says, taking Leslie's hand. "Gwen, I.... but I don't have a gun", she begins to sob. "Then wait until I'm gone. You can do it then. Then I won't feel a thing" Leslie looks back up at her. "No, don't say that. We don't know what will happen. You don't......". Leslie can't finish her sentence. "We can get you out of here. We can move you, just...come on Gwen" Leslie says, knowing deep down what's going to happen. "I can help you. Just...please-", Gwen interrupts her. "Leslie. We both know what happens next" she says, barely able to stay conscious."No! No, Gwen, please. Please don't leave me...don't go", she says, holding back tears. "We don't have a choice. I'm sorry. I love you, Leslie". Leslie looks surprised but also relieved. "I love you too Gwen", she says before leaning in to kiss her. Gwen kisses her back, indicating that she felt the same way. Leslie then leans her head on Gwen's, closing her eyes. "You can leave me. I don't want you to have to do it", Leslie pulls her face away from Gwen's. "No, no I can't leave you", she yells. "Leslie, please don't yell at me. Just do what I'm asking you, please. One last time". Leslie starts crying again as Gwen comforts her by putting her hand on Leslie's face. "Leslie, I need you to go, okay? I need you to go and have a life. With Alex, and Willow. Help raise Willow the right way. I want her to grow up knowing what life is like outside. I don't want her to be sheltered like I was. I don't want her to end up like me. Please, promise me...promise me you'll look out for her?", Leslie nods, as she's unable to speak through her tears. "Thank you....thank you. Now, you have to go, okay? Just go, and don't ever come back. But lock the door. I don't ever want you to see me like that". Gwen hands Leslie her coat. Leslie nods again, taking her coat before standing up and backing away from Gwen. "I'm going to miss you so much", she says, letting out more tears. "I'll miss you too... I love you", she says, passing out. "I love you too", Leslie whispers, leaving the cabin, locking it behind her. Leslie leans back against the door and slides to the ground, similar to the night with her family. She cries loudly for several minutes before hearing growls and banging on the door behind her. After hearing what Gwen had become, Leslie sits at the door as it starts snowing, crying harder than she ever has before.