Damaged ♡ Lashton ✔

Chapter 1

"Membership number or sponsors name?" I glance up at the woman sitting behind the front desk and play with the black hoop in my lip. She gives me a reassuring smile and tilts her head slightly as she waits for my reply.

"5384," I reply in a quiet voice, handing over the admission fee and avoiding eye contact.

I hold out my wrist when I see her grab one of the disposable wrist bands and give her a brief smile before walking past her to the social area. My eyes survey the wide, open space, taking in all the different people lounging around the different tables and random seating areas, chatting and laughing with each other. People of all shapes, sizes, and colors, in various states of dress. I take a deep breath and walk over to an empty seat in a corner so I can continue observing. I haven't been to a dungeon by myself since before him, so I was a little overwhelmed and wasn't quite sure who I should talk to. The atmosphere is light and accepting, as weird as that may sound. Everyone came across as so confident and open, whether they were fully dressed in a suit or wearing nothing but a thick leather collar around their neck.

The community vibe is what truly drew me in about two years ago – everyone was so warm and welcoming, and I felt like I could truly be myself around these people. I quickly met an amazing Dominant who I hit it off with right away. He treated me with love and respect, introduced me to a bunch of people, and always took things at my pace. Until he didn't.

We were together for a year, living together for six months, before things started getting a little... weird. He would guilt me into trying things he knew made me uncomfortable, telling me that if I truly loved him I would do it for him. If I continued to refuse, he would give me the cold shoulder, sometimes for weeks. Then there was the time he violated my safe word, and I finally confided in a close friend of mine, Michael.

He and his Dominant, Calum, helped me get out of the relationship and allowed me to live in their home. They explained that everything I went through was abuse and helped me heal. I haven't come back to the community since that relationship ended, but Calum and Michael finally convinced me that it was time.

They couldn't make it tonight, unfortunately, but after a few pep talks from my friends, I finally agreed to give it a shot. Worst case scenario, I duck out early. No big deal. However, it is a big deal... because I have a hard time talking to strangers these days. I used to be able to walk up to anyone and strike up conversation, but after being basically beaten into submission, my confidence fell to an all time low, and I have developed a severe case of anxiety. I honestly don't even know why I'm here – it's not like I'm going to actually talk to anyone or participate in any... activities. I should just leave. My breathing starts to increase in speed and I can feel beads of sweat forming along my hairline. My hands start shaking and my eyes dart around the room, looking for the nearest escape. It seems like the room has gotten bigger, dragging the exit further away from me, and I feel like I can't breathe. I shouldn't have come, I need to get out of here, they're going to sense that I'm weak and –

"Hey, you're okay. It's okay," a soft voice breaks through my thoughts and my eyes try to focus on the beautiful man crouched in front of me. He reaches out to take my hands but I pull them back immediately and he holds his hands up in defense. "It's alright, love. I'm not going to hurt you. Just try and breathe, okay? Can you do that for me?" I try, I really do, but it's not working and a quiet sob spills past my lips as I shake my head. "Alright, sweetheart, listen to me okay. I want you to tell me five things you can see. Can you do that for me?" My eyes dart around the room as I try and do what the stranger is asking of me. He gives me an encouraging smile and nods for me to give it a try.

"T-t-table, p-people, chair, y-you, couch."

"Good boy, you're doing so well, love. What are four things you can touch? I want you to say them out loud for me and touch them, okay? Go ahead." I have tears streaming down my cheeks and my mind is a mess, but I try really hard to focus on what he's saying to me. I don't want to get in trouble if I don't obey – I have to obey.

"Hair, j-jacket, w-wall, jeans," I stutter out through my gasps as I touch each of the things I listed. I glance at his face and a large smile is spread across his lips, showcasing twin dimples on his cheeks.

"Perfect, amazing job. What are three things you can hear, love?" I struggle to focus on my surroundings and furrow my eyebrows as I try and pick out certain sounds.

"T-talking, music, laughing." My breathing is starting to come a little easier and my tears have slowed considerably.

"You're doing so good, I'm so proud of you. We're almost done, okay? Two things you can smell."

"Leather and coffee."

"Such a beautiful combination, no?" he asks rhetorically with a soft chuckle. "Last one: name one thing you can taste."

"Mint." He nods and places a hand gently on my knee, rubbing it soothingly.

"You did so well, love. How are you feeling?"

"Better," I whisper quietly. My breathing is completely even now, my tears have stopped, and my heart is no longer racing. I wipe the moisture from my cheeks and look down at my lap. "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened, Sir." He gently places a finger under my chin and tips my head up to meet his beautiful hazel eyes.

"You were having a panic attack. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, I was happy to help. Also, you don't need to call me Sir, sweetheart. I am not your Dominant, there's no need for that. Feel free to just call me Ash. What's your name?" I slowly blink at him, kind of confused. My ex told me that I was to always refer to everyone as Sir or Miss, and if I didn't then they would hit me.

"I-I'm Luke," I reply quietly.

"It's very nice to meet you, Luke. Do you mind if I sit?" He gestures to the chair beside me and I give him a small smile before shaking my head. He sits down and leans back against the chair, looking out over the crowds of people. "Are you here with anyone, Luke?" I shake my head and look back down at my hands, clasping them together in my lap. "Have you ever been to a dungeon before?" I nod and clear my throat before verbally responding.

"Yes, it's just... been a while. I've been absent from the community for a long time, and I haven't been to one since I was with my ex." He nods in understanding and gives me a friendly smile.

"I'd be happy to sit with you if you'd like so you don't feel quite as alone? I could also introduce you to some of my friends. Would you like that?" I bite my lip and slowly nod my head. It wouldn't hurt to meet some people, and Ash seems really nice. However, he seemed nice at first, too, so I'm not going to let my guard down quite as easily. He shoots me a mega-watt smile and stands, extending his hand out for me to take. When I hesitate, he pulls it away and scratches the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, you don't have to take my hand. I just thought you might like something to help ground you. It's perfectly okay to say no, you won't hurt my feelings."

I let out a slightly breathy laugh and shake my head, holding my hand out for him to take. It's just a hand, it's not like he's going to hit me with it right here and now... right? His face seems to light up with pride as he gently grasps my hand in his much larger one and helps me stand up. He starts leading me to the set of double doors on the other side of the room before hesitating.

"Are you comfortable going into the dungeon? If not, you can wait here and I can just go and get them?" I consider my options for a moment, playing with the hoop in my lip briefly before taking a deep breath and straightening my spine.

"I'm okay. We can go in." He nods and holds the door open for me to enter the dark open space and I take a moment to adjust to the abrupt atmosphere change. I tense up slightly when I hear the sound of a whip cracking against someone's skin and close my eyes, reminding myself that I am okay, I am safe.

"Are you okay, love?" Ash whispers quietly in my ear. I take a deep, calming breath before opening my eyes and giving him a small nod. I can do this. This is a safe space with people monitoring everything going on around us, making sure that everyone is okay and ensuring all forms of play stop immediately when a safe word is used. Ash gives my hand a reassuring squeeze which causes all hesitation to leave my body before leading me forward, and I gladly follow him.

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Authors Note

Alright, here's chapter 1!  I couldn't in good conscience post only the prologue because I didn't want people to think that's what the whole story would be like.  

I'm not sure how long this story will be, nor do I know how long each chapter will be, but I hope you enjoy! ❤