The school day ended an hour or two ago and they are sitting down on the football field one week away from graduation. The sun is setting and it illuminates the turf in warm, golden light. A light breeze whisks their hair this way and that. It is calm, serene. Alejandro is stood up and walking around, humming a song Kairi can't recognize. Mattia is sitting down next to him. Robert is play fighting with Roshaun and Alvaro is just looking at his phone near Alejandro.
Suddenly, Kairi feels sick, an anxious pit building up in his stomach. He feels gross.
He looks around at his friends who are enjoying each other's company and then looks up at the sun. He stands up and walked forward a little, catching Mattia's attention. He looks at the wide open space and the houses behind the fence, absorbing it all before looking back up at the sky.
"What are you doing, Kai?" Mattia asks
Tears prick his eyes and now he has waterfalls running down his cheeks. He sniffles and Mattia stands up to check on him. Kairi breaks out into a sob.
"What happened?" Mattia grabs his shoulders softly.
The rest of the boys look over at the two and grow concerned, walking towards them. Kairi is louder and he hides his face in his hands, like a little boy crying over a lost toy.
"Kairi, what is it?" Mattia's features soften and he looks at his friend worriedly.
Kairi can't muster up the words. He knows why he's feeling this way. He's come to the realization that high school is over. Nothing will ever be the way it was before. All of those memories, moments, feelings: they're over.
Kairi tries to compose himself. "I just- I just don't- don't want to grow up!" He weeps.
Mattia pulls him into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around him for comfort. His heart aches for the day too, the day he won't be carefree anymore.
The boys are much closer now and they look on.
"Kairi it'll be okay. Shhh... it'll be okay. We'll always stick together, right guys?" Mattia tries to console the boy, looking at his friends for moral support.
The boys join in the hug.
Alejandro speaks up. "Of course, we're best friends. We'll never forget each other."
They're all in a tight hug and they feel tears prick at their eyes too. It's that sick feeling in Kairi's stomach and now the boys feel it too. But surrounded by the boys in their embraces, he feels the sick diminish, and his breathing slows, and so do the tears. Kairi uncovers his face and his friends let go of him with puffy faces like he has.
"I love you guys so much." Kairi professes. "I don't care what happens in the future, we are forever the Jersey boys!" He smiles at the end.
The boys chuckle in response and say it back.
Kairi feels safe again, even if he knows life gets complicated, that friends fade no matter who they are, that the strange love he and Mattia share may fade into distant memories, he's safe once again. And he wipes his tears
because he must continue.
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hola bad bitches of the world! this was inspired by something i physically wrote down that was inspired by an email consisting of senior quotes of the class of 2020. when i wrote it on paper, it was the first time i ever cried after writing. it was so special i even dated it (like put the date). i felt like reminding myself that life is full of cycles and even though we are sad that one cycle is ending, it's important to remember that the next cycle will always bring something new to you. if you're feeling down, know that you will get through it ! i hooe you're all fine. thank you for reading, love you !
