The Scenic Life

Chapter 17

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I remember the day the equal pay between genders campaign started. All of us had declared a strike against the production house, after noticing that the women in the office were paid considerably less than men even after being in the same position. Fortunately, the men had backed us up and joined us in our strike. We were grateful for that.

The production house was having none of it. They tried steering us away from that topic by threatening us, by blackmailing some of the people. Unfortunately, me and Khan were the ones who got harrassed and blackmailed.

According to them, if the people who were most important and talented shifted to their sides, the protestors strikes were in futile.

When I entered the cabin as a spokesperson, I had come with the intention of finishing this matter by winning. But I didn’t expect what would go down.
Khan had been present in the cabin with me during the entire time. We were shouting at them about the unfairness of the situation. I had gotten brave and said that if they didn’t fulfil our wishes this scandal might go viral online.

That had been my first mistake.

Preceding my little blowout, one of the producers, Jody, had exploded in anger. He started spouting expletives at Khan and I. I had fought back with many of my own expletives, Khan was sitting with her head in hands.

The other producer had enough of it when I had started shouting, he slammed his hand on the table and silenced us. That had been a deadly silence, a moment I will never forget, because what followed after consequently ruined my life.

He blackmailed me, telling me that if I didn’t stand by them, they would fire me, and then call up every production house in Bollywood and tell them to not hire me. They warned me, that if I didn’t do as told, they would make sure that I didn’t get a license to open up my own firm. They warned me that they will put a harrasement case on me and Khan, because they had photoshopped evidence of us provoking violence in the production house.

And lastly, they warned me and khan, that if we didn’t accept the promotion, we would not feel safe in the city even in  the day.

That had been the last straw for us. Khan and I broke down, and begged them to spare us, but that didnt lead us anywhere. In the end, when we got of the cabin, I was labelled as the villain of the situation. I had gotten the fire at the end of the stick, because I was a traitor. They had warned us to not tell anybody anything, or worse things would follow.

We listened. And I was hated. Khan was a person of authority, so they didn’t blame her. But they did blame me. I couldn’t fight them, I blamed myself too. If I hadn’t been so outspoken, I wouldn’t be here today. So hated. So disrespected.

All of the others had turned on me, because in their eyes I was given money to shut everything off, to finish what we all had started. A fight had been lost because of me, of this patriarchy.

I was made project's head, they had made me the head everytime to intensify my role as the villain. Every night when I left the studio, my hands always clenched tight the pepper spray and the pocket knife. Because I didn’t believe the producers to just leave us off the hook. I was scared for my life everyday, when I slept, when I woke up. My blinds always remained closed, my doors always locked. My apartment had become dark, reflecting the trauma inside me.

It took me a lot of time to get over the jittering scariness  of the situation, it took me time to let go of my belief that any time I would be jumped up on and kidnapped.

Vihaan had been hired after two months of the incident. I remember seeing him in the waiting room for the first time, his stance confident, his hair unruly just like how they were that day when he kept his arm around my shoulders. I had gone upto him and introduced myself, very intent of making a new friend. He had looked up at me with a sweet smile on his face, his hand warm around mine. “Vihaan Mukerjee, nice to meet you.” He had said, his voice drawn out like honey on a stick. I had been smitten right then.

But then, when he was hired, all of the people in the office didn’t let me have a friend. They told him everything that happened, from their point of view, and just like that I lost him even when I didn’t have him.

Viki had been through my side through it all. I hadn’t told her anything, but  she knew. She knew I wasn’t capable of doing anything like that. I had been never been so grateful before to a friend.

Now, I am lying on my new bed in my new hotel room, all alone. My luggage is in Vihaan's room, but I cant face him again. Not after what he said.

Love seemed like such a beautiful word coming out of his mouth, and it seemed even more so beautiful when he said he had loved me, but it felt like a curse because of what he said later.

I was mad at him, livid even. I was furious that our relationship was soured due to what had been forced on, due to others wrong perception of me. I felt like going back to the office and blaming everybody for ruining my life, and a potential relationship.

But more than that , I blamed myself. I blamed myself for not standing up for myself, not standing up to the upsetting patriarchy of the society.

And I definitely blamed myself for everything wrong in my life.