The Scenic Life

Chapter 26

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It is half past seven, and I am now standing in the car park of Allesandro's, waiting for my mom to turn up for our dinner meet. The car park is full of different energies, some are waiting, some are on their first dates. Many come and go through the doors of Allesandro's, the streetlights rays falling on the glass making it look like the surface of a lake at noon.

My eyes scan across the lot, my leg tapping itself on the pavement.

It has been a week since the historical meeting. Everybody had sort of expected for things to change drastically, but we don’t get everything we wish for , now do we?

Jody and bonnie agreed to our proposals, more so out of fear of bankruptsy than a sudden burst of feminism. Baby steps, I guess? Things between everybody and me has been stellar these past few days. I hadn’t really expected them to take me under their collective wings of socialising, but it was nice that they did that. It was like taking a breath after being submerged in the water a tad bit too long. No more suffocation.

At the club, after one two many drinks, Vihaan and I came close, once again. We didn’t go any further than slow dancing in the dark while Finneas played in the background. With slurs dancing around everywhere I spoke, I drunkenly told him that maybe we should take it slow, like a slowburn in a good book. He chuckled and agreed, and said  he's happy just to hold me.
And now, I'm waiting here for my mom to show up for a dinner.

My heart had been pounding for the whole day, nervous because of this dinner. A call with viki and a long chat with mira had brought me back to my senses. It is just my mom, I console myself. But the thought that she is the one who scattered the family is still fresh.

I notice a sleek, black BMW sliding in the parking spot right in front of me. the number plate confirms that it's mom.
She gets out of the car and rushes towards to envelope me in a hug, I hug her back and smell the nostalgic rosy smell of her perfume. The nostalgia hits me hard, as does her hold on me, tight and strong. It reminds me of the way she hugged me before I went off to college. The way I had cried, and the way mum and dad had hugged me close, it had felt like the last time we were a whole family, no tears, no damage.

She releases the hold off of me, and gives me a big smile. “how are you, sweety?”

My voice is a bit hoarse, overcome with all the emotions, “I'm good, ma. How are you?”

“I'm great! Okay, now lets head inside and eat some good food.”

After sitting down at a table near the back of the room, we take a few minutes to go over the menu but end up ordering the same Italian dishes that we usually order down here. For me, white pasta with garlic bread, and for ma, red pasta with some salad.

The waiter goes back to the kitchen and we find ourselves alone, with quiet music playing in the background.

“how was your trip?”
I pause, before answering.

Should I tell her about Vihaan?

I know she is hinting at something related to him, what with all the soloness of our trip. To an outsider, the trip must feel like a couples getaway. The only difference is that it became sort of close to a couples getaway in the last few days of the trip.

“it was great. Rajasthan was beautiful, id love to there again solely for the purpose of touring, though.”

She nods, and sips from her little wine glass that the waiter just dropped off. “you told me something happened at the studio? What was that about?”

I pause, wondering when I had told her about it. I hope it wants when I had been drunk out of my mind. ma is pretty liberal, but still drunk dialling mom bags the first place on my list of nightmares.

“uh, a lot went down actually.”

I stumble a bit over my words. Nervousness finding me again. The fact that mum would know what happened over the past few months makes me want to crawl into a cave and never come out. Her first reaction would be to hunt down jody and bonnie and kill them. And I don’t want my ma rotting in a jail because of homicide.

She knows little stuff, that the producers promoted but I didn’t want to because of some social issues. That’s about it. I  hadn’t told either my dad or her about this, because I know that they would have become the next bonnie and clyde (as murderers).

Ma puts her glass down and reaches out to hold my hand. The sheer closeness of our bonds makes me a bit emotional, and I find myself being like the sixteen year old I was, telling my mom about every little thing that happened to me at school. So I tell her everything. From the start of our campaign against the producers, to yesterdays ‘meeting’. She listens intently, with gasps and silence at the correct times.

I had forgotten how good talking with her felt. I had let anger take too much of my feelings for her.

So I let my walls crumble down,and let her in again, Let her lit a fire for me and warm me up. It feels good, it feels like home again. And I find myself forgiving her piece by piece, drop by drop. It wasn’t her fault that the love between my parents had been burnt out. Its natural, and it’s a part of every relationship, and I understand that now. some people quit when the fire gets burnt out, because they don’t have much strength to put It back again. But some do, some have infinite supple of strength and resources. And its not a right thing to do to compare.

So I let it go, and embrace her.
When we finish our dinner, its about 10 at night. We ordered more garlic bread and wine, eating our hearts out. I feel warm all over, like I have found my strenghth back. We video call dad too, and have a good long chat. The fact that my mom and dad have been better friends than lovers hit me then.
We pay the bill, ma insists to pay forme, a little treat she insists. And then we go back towards the car park, keys dangling in our hands, faces smily, and our arms round each others back.

She stops in front of her car and turns around to face me, her expression unrecognisable. She pulls me closer to her, and hugs me. I am a bit surprised, to say the least but I let go of all the qualms and hug her back. Hard.

she lets go of me, and sighs. “I'm really proud of you sara. I know I don’t tell you this enough, but you're the best thing that happened to me in my life.”

My throat catches on fire, but I give her a broad smile. She returns it. it’s a different feeling of euphoria when your mom tells you she's proud of you. It’s a different kind of achievement.

So I hold on to it.