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- ˏˋ Does to you ˊˎ - .......✦........
"Wooyoungie, happy birthday!" San chirped as he threw himself around his boyfriend, who looked surprised at San's tone, his usually drained and heavy voice replaced by one with excitement and joy latched onto it, a tone of voice he hasn't heard in awhile. San however, felt awful, pretending to be okay and feel happy didn't make him feel better at all, rather the opposite. It made him feel fake and disgusting. He doesn't like it when people lie, but lately that's all he has been doing to Wooyoung, one lie after another.
Hell, he's a pro, world champion if you will.
San had been alone all day and decided to take the opportunity to go out to bleach his hair, just to change things up, and also cut it to make it look somewhat okay and fresh, then to top it of he had actually put some makeup on to hide the dark circles under his eye, even though they were still kinda visible, but anything was better than looking like a corpse when they are going out. Wooyoung too had changed up his hair not to long ago, but when San isn't sure. It must have been sometime during his bedridden days. "I see you decided to bleach your hair?" The younger smiled and ran a hand through the newly cut hair. "Yeah, thought it would be nice to change things up a little, brown was getting boring" San said playfully, his fingers playing with the hair at the back of Wooyoung's head. Yeah, it was getting 'boring' definitely not because he didn't want his brown hair to contrast with his inhumanly pale skin while being with Wooyoung for the last time.
Yeah, definitely not.
"It looks good, it suits you" Wooyoung complimented and pecked San's forehead. The older forced out a giggle, which thankfully came out sounding genuine. The black haired male chuckled in response "you're in a good mood". "That's because I'm gonna take you out to dinner tonight, I want to celebrate you" San winked and let go of Wooyoung. "So go get dressed, we don't wanna be late, I have already reserved a table for us!" He chirped, shooing Wooyoung into their room to change.
𓆡𓆝𓆞𓆜𓆛
"Here's your table, I'll come back shortly to hear what you have decided on" the waiter said and put two menus in front of Wooyoung and San, who thanked him politely before opening the leather folder. "Can I get you something to drink this evening?" He asked, taking out his notepad and a pen. After ordering drinks the couple was left alone, scanning their menus. Well, at least San did, Wooyoung however was to busy starring at him, taking in every detail on his face.He felt so lucky to be able to spend time with the boy in front of him. That he had someone who he loved and who loved him back just as much, to be able to see him everyday, to spend his time surrounded by him everyday. When he looked at San, in this very moment, he felt lucky. He felt butterflies dance in his stomach as San smiled to the waiter who returned with a bottle of champagne, pouring a glass to both of them. He felt the same butterflies he had felt when they went on their first date.
Back then, it had been just the two of them walking around before ending up at a fast food joint, talking about nothing, everything and anything in between. They weren't poor, but they were both students and so they would never have the money to go to fancy places, but it was good enough for them. Even now, they still eat fast food more than anything else when Wooyoung doesn't have the time to cook, even though they had the money to eat like royalty, that's because for them, it was good enough. As long as they had each other, anything was good enough. His heart skipped a beat when San caught him staring, his cheeks turning red as he smiled his signature dimpled smile, god had Wooyoung missed those dimples. "Like what you see?" He teased, making Wooyoung's face flush red due to the embarrassment of getting caught. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, the warmth of his eyes never leaving, making WooYoung feel fuzzy all over.
He stayed silent for a little while, taking in every detail, from his eyes, to the moles on his face, to the small freckles covering his neck and enjoying the since of clam and safety of the moment, not knowing what storm was slowly approaching them. "I think I just fell for you all over again" he finally said, seeing San suck in a breath, holding it in as his cheeks turned into a crimson red. "You're so cheesy" San smiled, the warmth and love that his eyes were filled with was genuine, his love for Wooyoung has and will always be genuine, it's the one thing he doesn't have to fake.
Cause his love for Wooyoung will last even after he leaves. Cause even after they split, Wooyoung will be able to feel his never ending love for him, living and carving it's own space in his heart. San will forever be the sun to Wooyoung's solar system, even after he burns out, all of the memories will be shining around him like small stars. He will love him as the first snow falls, when the first flower blooms and even when the leaves start to fall, San will always be there, loving him until the universe comes to an end.
𓆡𓆝𓆞𓆜𓆛
Wooyoung was walking carefully as San lead him into a club where their friends were supposed to meet them. After eating dinner San had payed, refusing to let the younger pay no matter how much he insisted that they should at least split the bill, before dragging him down the street, holding his hand tightly, enjoying the way they seemed to fit so perfectly together. He enjoyed spending time with San like this again, he seemed happy. He was hoping that maybe this would be the start of his recovery, of happier times.
If only he had known what San had in store. To say that San didn't enjoy spending time with Wooyoung would be a lie, but he can't help, but to be disgusted with himself. Every time they had passed a store window and he could see his own reflection, a sense of loath and anger washed over him. He hates lying to Wooyoung's face, giving him false hope that, maybe things will get better from here? Because he knows they won't. He knows that things will never be as they were, that if Wooyoung continues to wait for him, he will never get anywhere.
San wish he could have made it easier for himself. To be able to breakaway form the younger, so that he could disappear into nothingness, but his love runs to deep for him to let him go. No matter how much he wish he could end it all, make Wooyoung hate him, he can't. He is doomed to be glued to Wooyoung's side to the very end. Even if that means he will have to rip himself of the younger boy, leaving a painful and sore blister left from the adhesive.
Once the duo enter the club, loud music fills their ears, San can immediately see their friends by the bar, waving them over. Now, San wasn't much of a drinker, but he decided that if he was gonna get through tonight without feeling like a piece of absolute human scum, he will have to drown out those feelings with a few shots of whatever alcohol was available. So, as one shot became two, a two became five, he got more and more zoned out.
Before he could even register what was going on, he was in a bathroom stall throwing up by himself, his friends obvious too his current state of being. He could hear Wooyoung's high pitched laughter over all the music as another male entered the bathroom, making San smile to himself. 'At least he's having fun' San quickly collected himself, looking in the mirror to make sure he looked as good as possible and walked out again, cause the night was far from over.
