- ˏ ˋ Take me to the rooftop ˊ ˎ -
.......✦........San breathed in deeply, feeling the cold afternoon air fill his system. He looked out over the roaring ocean behind the back of his house, the ever slow, darkening sky making the ocean look like an endless pit of darkness, just how he likes it. His fingers were wrapped tightly around the mug in his hand, bringing it up so he could take a sip of the tea he had prepared for himself. For as long as he can remember, he has always loved the ocean and the way the waves hit the shore delecately. He loved seeing the sun disappear behind the carpet of water that was covering the horizon, the way the orange light reflected on the surface. He loved the fresh smell it had during the morning, or the way the fresh air would also blow, making his cheeks sting as they turned a shade of rosy red.
Yeah, San really loved the ocean.
"Sannie, I'm back!" San flinched at the sound of his name, spilling the tea all over his hand and the sleeve of his sweater. "Shit" He cursed under his breath, placing the mug on a table behind him. His little moment of silence and peace was officially over. It didn't take long before a silver blonde boy stepped through the door to the blacony. He had a bag of take out in his right hand and his phone in his left. "Wooyoung, do you think you can knock or something next time?" San sighed, shaking his hand in an attempt to dry it. The just newly arrived boy laughed softly, walking up to peck San on the lips, "Of course, I'm sorry".
Wooyoung fished up a napkin from the bag in his hand, handing it over to San who took it, drying the now cold liquid of his hand. He joined his boyfriend by the dinner table inside, closing the door to the balcony behind him. "Have you painted anything new today?" The latter asked while he placed some boxes of bulgogi on the table. Wooyoung knew about San's weird fascination with the ocean, but he didn't mind. San has always been a little bit of a mix between both an introvert and an extrovert, he usually either sits in his own little painting room, letting his brush paint out the blue carpet that he loves so much, or he would be out surfing or diving in the deep water with his friends or by himself.
San just loves the ocean and Wooyoung only thinks that makes him even more cute, seeing the way his eyes sparkles when he looks over it, there's just something magical about it. He himself works a full time job, coming home late on most days, but still tries to spend as much time with his lover as possible. He would join him when he went surffing or swimmig, sometimes he would even be allowed to try a hand on painting if San was feeling extra happy. Sadly, that doesn't happen a lot anymore. San rearly leaves the house or paints like he used to.
He had first started getting less and less socially active about four years ago, his mood dropping greatly. At first, Wooyoung hadn't thought about it that much, everyone feels down at some point, but it was when he started having trouble sleeping, often crying himself to sleep, waking up later and also talking less that he started to get worried. He would ask him if he was okay, but he just got a small smile. "Of course, why wouldn't I be" San chuckled. He seemed fine whenever he was in public or when friends were over at their place, he seemed happy, he was happy, on the outside at least.
His first breakdown happened while he was painting, Wooyoung was making himself someting to eat before going to bed when he heard the sounds of a bunch of things falling from San's workroom. What he was met by was a crying San in the corner, a canvas with the ocean painted on it, only to be crossed out with black paint, a big rift going along it from one corner to another and paint brushes along with a broken jar laying on the floor.
Since that day, finding San in his workroom happened less and less, rather he would be found laying in bed sleeping. That's when Wooyoung finally understood that something was seriously wrong. He had tried a hundred times to get San to talk to him or someone professional, but he refused. So when he finally agreed to go about 1 year later, Wooyoung had joined him, feeling absolutely horrible when he got to know that his boyfriend was diagnosed with a severe case of chronic depression. He felt like he had failed him, like if he had been there more, maybe his soulmate wouldn't be sitting in a chair in front of a psychiatrists with his name on a clipboard.
"I haven't, I just...can't find any motivation" San mumbled, taking a seat by the table. Wooyoung sighed, nodding his head. He let San start of by taking some of the food, watching him make himself about two pices of bulgogi, staring at them for a good minute before actually taking one in his mouth. "Have you heard anything from the guys lately?" The younger continued, making himself a serving of bulgogi before putting it in his mouth. San shook his head, he hasn't heard anything from them in almost a year. He never bothers to check his messages and only ever answer the phone if it is Wooyoung who is calling him to check up on him.
"Well, I met Hongjoong and he said that he is worried about you, you never reply to messages" The latter told, watching the brunette sitting on the table across from him as he played with the food on his plate. San looked up, his eye brows frowned. "Am I suddenly obligated to answer when others want to talk with me when I don't?" he bit back. "That's not what I me-" "Well it sure sounded like it" San cut him off. The two stared at each and other, totally quiet with only the faint sound of the ocean hitting shore making sound. He sighed, excusing himself. He wasn't in the mood to talk with anyone right now, even his own boyfriend.
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[edited]
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Fishes 𓆝 w.san
FanfikceIn which San adores the ocean, and Wooyoung looses him. Started: 26.9.2019 Ended: 30.12.2020 Mochilatae