My Brother's Best Friend

Chapter 30 - You Deserve to Know

   *Mickey's POV*

        I decided to have my mom's funeral on Christmas Eve because I thought it'd be nice to celebrate two things: being with friends and family, and the life of my mom. Justin is currently holding me while I sob on his shoulder as I listen to the pastor of the church my mom and I went to give a speech about her. He called me up to say a few words about her, so I did.

     "My mom and I were very close." I began. "There was a time where I felt like my world was crumbling. Dad left, Justin had left to sign a record deal and become famous, and Ryan was channeling his pain by hanging out with him. Mom had become a heavy drinker and had fallen into depression, and I knew I couldn't leave her. When she had a job interview in Toronto for a couple weeks, she left five-hundred dollars on the table, and I used that to buy a plane ticket to see Ryan and Justin." I started to sob a little. "Sometimes I think it's all my fault she killed herself." I couldn't go on any longer, I started to have a small panic attack and break down. Both Ryan and Justin came up to help me. Justin took me over to my seat and had his arms around me while he kissed my cheek and had tears flowing from his eyes.

     "Honey, it's not your fault. It was your mom's own choice." He whispered in my ear.

   Ryan ended up giving a speech as well. Soon, the funeral was over. We didn't have a burial because my mom's body was completely burned, she was just ashes that were scattered everywhere. We all walked out of the church, just happy I didn't see my dad anywhere.

     "Mickey, are you okay?" Ryan asked me suddenly.

      "Yeah, I'm fine, really." I assured.

     I gave Ryan a five second hug, then we went to our cars and drove off. Justin was holding my hand while he was driving.

    "Sweetheart, everything's going to be okay, really." Justin suddenly spoke up "I know it's hard, believe me, when Avalanna died, I was a complete mess. It's like part of my heart died with her, but you know what? She's in a better place where she isn't suffering anymore and I knew I had to be strong. I can't greive, but only be thankful for the time I got to spend with her." He started tearing up just thinking about her. I took his hand and gently kissed it. He looked over and smiled at me.

      He's right. I can't just be uspet my whole life. I should just be thankful for all the good times I had with her. I never got to meet Avalanna. Sometimes I wish I did, but at the same time, I'm sure she wouldn't really care for me. Rest in peace to her though. My mom was a special person to me and as much as I wish she were here, I know she's in a better place.

     "Thanks baby. You're right, I can only be thankful for the time I spent with her. I know Avalanna was special to you. I wish I could've got the chance to meet her, but at the same time, I don't think she would've cared for me." I then realized what I had said and now know I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. Justin just looked at me in disbelief.

      "Mickey, what are you talking about? Avalanna would've loved you!" He protested. 

     "I don't know, in the videos I've seen with you and her, I thought you were the only one she cared about. I mean, she didn't seem like she cared for Selena all that much. As cute and sweet as she was, I just don't think she woud've liked me." I said.

      Justin pulled over on the side of the road and we climbed into the back seat where he'd give me another pep talk.

      "Honey, I don't know what you've seen, or read for that matter, but Avalanna loved everyone. That's what was so special about her. She had such a big heart and loved everyone around her. She loved me, my family, friends, beliebers, everyone, she just loved everyone!" He started to choke up a little while getting tears in his eyes. He took my hands in his. "Baby, do you know how many times when I was with her, I was thinking about you and how much I wanted her to meet you. I never got the chance to ask if you wanted to meet her because I didn't have your number and Ryan was just off doing his own thing." He started to cry and I decided to hold him. I've always loved when a man's not afraid to cry. I think guys shouldn't be afraid to show a little emotion because we're all human, aren't we?"