I know you better -Shoey-

Chapter 26: What got into me?

{Joeys Pov}

I ran. I ran the whole way back to my moms house at the end of the neighborhood. I left my backpack at his house, which I regret because that means I'll most likely have to see his face again.

I hate him. But I love him. But I hate him.

He tried to rape me.

He knew what happened at camp. He knew the torture I was put through for over a year. How I had no escape. I was helpless and hopeless. And he tried to put me through that again! He tried to rape me!

I made it into my moms house. She was sitting on the couch reading a book. Thank god she's sober. I ran to her and hugged her tight.

Debra (Joeys mom): Joey... What's wrong baby?

I sobbed into her shirt.

Joey: Shane did something bad. Really bad.

Debra: Can you talk about it?

She asked, stroking my hair.

Joey: I don't think so...

She picked my head up. She looked over me, with concern in her eyes.

Debra: I suppose he's the reason your nose and neck are bleeding?

I forgot about how hard he slapped me for a bit. But I put my hand under my nose, and felt as the warm liquid dropped out. I felt my neck, which basically had his bite marks implanted in me. Thank god the hickeys he left me hadn't formed yet, nevertheless would my mom guess they were hickeys, she's probably think more towards bruises.

Joey: I deserved it. I did the same thing to him.

I lied. I got it a lot worse.

Debra: Joey... Just remember you can tell me anything, okay?

Joey: Okay.

I kissed her on the forehead and ran to my shower.

I stripped myself from every piece of Shanes clothing I wore. They smelt like him still. I sat on my toilet and held his shirt in my hand as I wept, breathing him in. My phone wouldn't stop buzzing, and I wanted to throw it out a window. I don't know how I wanted to feel about Shane.

I went into the shower and rubbed my whole body with that soap repeatedly.

I thought about how our first time had been. Rough yet gentle at the same time. Like Shanes skin.

Stop thinking about him Joey! You're messed up!

I turned the shower to a bath, and quickly pulled something out from below the sink. My blades. I hadn't used them for so long.

Well, that'll change.

I went back into the bathtub, where the warm water surrounded me. I turned it off. I sliced a deep cut into my wrist. I watched as the blood dripped off and fell into the water, it spreading and looking like the veins the held it.

Joey: That's for saying you love me, Shane.

I cut another.

Joey: That's for not meaning it.

I cut another.

Joey: That's for being my real first.

I cut another. I was now starting to feel woozy.

Joey: That's for kissing me so passionately I could feel my lips on fire, that from now on if anyone kisses me they will be able to feel the lust and love and passion we both shared for each other.

I cut another. Now I'm feeling dizzy.

Joey: And that's for trying to rape me.

I cut another. My eyes started to feel tired.

Joey: that's...that's for uh, saying sorry after you raped me, as if you cared.

I put the blade down. I didn't want to die yet. I wanted to torture myself by making me go through the days and having to see Shane probably regular and happy. I deserve that kind of torture. I got out of the bath and dried off, clumsily walking to my bed. I peered at my phone which had 21 unread messages. Mostly explaining how sorry Shane was and how I didn't deserve what he did.

All I did was send him a picture of my fresh and still bleeding cuts, captioned with:

Joey <3: Look what you're doing to me, baby (:

I chuckled to myself. How pathetic my life is, with my rapist of a boyfriend. I should've known better than to trust people.

{Shanes Pov}

I sat on my bed as they walked around my room, talking to me.

Shanaynay: I cant believe you did that Shane! After all he's been through! Did you not listen to a word I said?

She sat down next to me and put her arm around me.

Shane: I screwed up guys. Big time. Joeys cutting his wrists and it's all my fault!

I cried into Shanaynay, and she wrapped her arms around me.

Shanaynay: It'll be okay boo.

S-Deezy: Man that bitch deserved it.

I got up and drew my fist back Shanaynay grabbed my arm.

Aunt Hilda: What are you gonna do? Hit your imaginary friend like you did Joey?

Paris: Abusive relationships are only cool when it comes to Chris brown and Rihanna. So unless you plan on making an annoying hit song about loving the way Joey lies, I suggest you put the fist away for the rest of your days.

Ned: It's true. I think you should try to apologize.

I broke into tears again.

Shane: Should I go to his house?

I asked, my voice cracking.

Shane's mom: Yeah, but first get cleaned up you...girl.

She smiled at me.

But I couldn't smile back.

What have I done to my precious Joey?