Pleasant Addiction

Chapter-four

Ferra's P.O.V:
My descent into addiction began as a teenager;
I never realized,something as small as a pill could have such huge effects on my life.All my tensions and problems disappeared in that way.Finding temporary relief from depression,anxiety or fear is a normal reaction when I used them. Unfortunately,overtime the solution became a growing problem.Sometimes I became upset after watching other teenagers,they smile like a rainbow,they play like a butterfly and even their smiles reflects that they are satisfied with their life. That was one of the reasons I remained depressed all the time.Even I didn't go outside because I always felt upset and stunned after seeing their happy faces.How could they stay happy?And even though they are sad how could they wear a a fake smile.Why couldn't I?
Marijuana affected me in my behavior,it made me vomit,panicked,it gave me headaches and laughter for no reason.It gave me experience involving the apparent perception of something not present.It increased the blood pressure.
Nate never supported me with  my addiction to Marijuana.He even warned me if I don't leave the addiction ,he will break  up with me.But those who are addicted to it only can realize how hard it is.
Olivia Candace,my mom,she always does stupid things.Her behavior effects my mentality much.You cant have a car to drive!you can't do that,you cant go there..blabla....
Olivia's P.O.V:
I always love my daughter.But I think the way I express it is wrong.
9 Am,Monday.I decided to visit a doctor to solve the problem and to collect the informations about how to make her understand that Marijuana is dangerous for the rest of the life.I went to Dr. Gregory Solomon.He provides with special services for both teens and adults since 1995.He was graduated from Yale with honors and a B.S. in Biology.To be more clear about Ferra I took Elara and Mandy.I was sure they would know the present conditions about Ferra's present condition,because I didn't connect with her for couple of months.I had a huge discussion;Be responsive to your child's efforts to correct the behavior as a punishing attitude alone can jeopardize or damage the emotional bond between you and your child,provide her with the best things.He advised me to avoid using blaming language and to show her that I care about her alot.That time while sitting on the chair,my tears rushed out.I was feeling like,someone left me inside a dark and dim forest with no food and water.I totally became hopeless though I shouldn't be.  
"* Provide opportunities to re-establish the bond of trust, such as supervising homework and chores but also recognizing a job well done.If you are worried about your loved one and their marijuana addiction, the best way to approach them is with empathy and compassion, preferably at a time when they are not intoxicated. Try to avoid judgment—remember, addiction is a disease that requires treatment."The doctor advised me again with  a hopeful sign.He game me some medicines for Ferra,but how can I reach to her with those because she is angry with me and she doesn't want to see my face.She hates when I smile.How could a mother tolerate this!?.I feel like the god has sent me to the earth only to live a life like a shit.No one,not even my god can feel the pain I felt because of my drug addicted Ferra.When I came to hear that my only daughter is a drug addict then I felt like I should die.But even before dying ,I had to make my daughter free from this shitty addictions,and that became my only ambition.It was devastating to know that Ferra is suffering from addiction.
~I have kissed her face hundred times.~
~I have watched her when she slept and can remember how she holds my hands while she learnt walking~
I taught her to cross the streets and buy her all the chocolates and candles she wanted for Halloween and other days.I was the only cheering person when she failed her exams. I kept her safe from any possible danger.I fed her.I cleaned her face while she tried to learn eating with hands and spoons. Addiction has nothing to do with the love between a child and their mother. Addiction is a brain disease that leads to changes in the structure and functioning of the cerebral cortex. She now acts like a damn stranger!even worse of that.
A mother's love is critical to the feelings of belonging and self worth for a child.Its isn't easy to carry a growing human body inside a little place,but only a mother can do that.So why would a mother search for her own sunshine,when her child's in a four walled jail with anxiety.I don't know what Ferra thinks about me,but I want to give her the sweetness of a mothers care and love.
I was her superhero,because she couldn't get the chance to see her father.She couldn't get the fathers love and affection.Only she can taste the bitterness of not having a father.I have still the softest corner for her because of that.I will accept her if she wants me back in her life.I want to share my morning tea and muffins with her.I want to make her with her favorite dishes.Im gonna accept her boyfriend,Nate.Im gonna bring her with her favorite parrots.
Im gonna make our house heaven only because of her satisfaction and happiness.My child are my eyes.Like without eyes the life isn't complete,without her Im completely nothing.Everything seems dark even though the sun has risen.I have shed tears for thousand of times only for sadness and anger.When she wins something or gets a good grade,I distributed all my deposited pennies to the neighborhood.Once when I Was a teen I Was just like the regular women's but after being pregnant I had to overcome the barriers to provide Ferra with the best.I had to be her bodyguard,superhero,father and friend even a mom.I know she hears my advices as nagging but Im still,okay with that.