jan 03, 2015
Dear Lily,
I'm going to begin writing letters to you. I haven't actually possessed the courage to give them to you in person, but I'll pretend for now and hopefully I will eventuallybe able to hand them to you. So I suppose I'll just get right into this.
I remember when we first met. We were both so young and innocent and not yet exposed to how shitty the world really was. We were both happy, not a single thing could bring us down. We thought things would be like that forever. Maybe it still would have been that way, if your mind hadn't rebelled and began turning your happy thoughts into complete anger and sadness.
I remembered when the sadness had first hit you. You would climb up as high as you possibly could in the trees that sat in our backyards. I would come to play with you and eventually get bored of sitting in the trees, but you would tell me you weren't leaving until you knew your mom and dad at least made and effort to search for you. It didn't make much sense to my thirteen-year-old self then, but now I'm older and I understand perfectly.
I now understand that you just needed reassurance that they knew you were gone, that they knew you were going crazy. When I first began understanding this, I thought it was all my fault. I thought it was my fault that you were losing your mind and nobody cared enough to notice. But then as I began focusing and thinking more about you I found out so much more that you had been keeping hidden away for so long.
You began running away and hiding so that someone would come save you. And oh, do I wish that I could've saved you sooner.
Love,
Ashley
YOU ARE READING
hold on till may • halsey
Fanfiction"if i were you i'd put that away. see you're just wasted and thinking bout the past again. darling, you'll be okay."
