The Struggle •Unedited•

Chapter 24

•Louis•

My eyes are stinging with tears as the heart crushing questions leave my son's mouth. Why did mommy leave us?

I mean, he was one, there's was no way of him remembering. The curiosity popped up when he was three when he asked "Where's mommy?" All I replied was "She went away", after that, he just dismissed it. I always wondered why the question never came up again and now I wish it hadn't.

"Mas, I-" My voice cracks and I look over at Elisabeth who is looking out the window with a palm over her mouth.

My son is staring at me with glossy, blue eyes just like mine. The air got thick with depression and I just don't know how to explain the abandonment situation to a 5 year old.

A sob is itching my throat, threatening to come out. I don't even know what to say, it's like if I suddenly became mute. I look over at Elisabeth, pleading with my eyes for her to help me say something to my waiting son. It's like if she can feel my eyes staring at her because she turns to look back at me, her eyes glassy and sadden as well.

Her mouth opens but it closes just as quick. Who am I kidding? The reporter is just as clueless as I am, maybe even more. She has no kids, many of my problems are not even relatable to hers. This is useless.

Getting the urge to finally answer Mason back, I turn directly towards him and I take a deep, shaky breath.

"I-I don't know, Mas," I stutter, "I woke up one day and-and she was gone,"

"Oh," he mopes as his head falls, "Does she hate me?"

And there goes the remaining pieces of my heart.

The water under my eyes gathers much faster and I'm afraid that if I open my mouth, a cry will come out instead of words.

"I don't think she hates you, Mason," Elisabeth speaks up, catching me by surprise, "She just had, um, other things to worry about..."

"So she doesn't love us?"

"She loves you," I doubtfully add.

I think.

"Will we ever be a family?"

"I don't know," I respond flatly, "I hope. One day we will, okay?"

His brown hair moves with the swift nod in his head. "Okay,"

And just like that, he's back to playing with his toy.

"We should go," the reporter suggests, shifting in her seat and twisting on the ignition, "Its late and we have work tomorrow. Mason has school too, doesn't he?"

"Yeah,"

She begins to pull out of the dining lot and soon we're on the road, in route to Niall's house. The car's quiet, nothing but the sound of the rubber tires rolling on the pavement is heard. At a stop light, Elisabeth looks over at me, and I could feel her eyes staring, so I connect my eyes with her.

"I'm sorry," I mouth.

I'm apologizing for the change in mood due to my son. Hopefully, she understand.

"It's okay," she mouths in response and she wipes a little below one of her eyes.

It's a little crazy how she teared up, as well. A child's sadness can have a complete affect on someone.

The stoplight turns green and in a couple of minutes were pulling into Niall's gated community and into his driveway.

Once the car parks, I glance over to the reporter for one last time tonight.