The Struggle •Unedited•

Prologue

"Now push!", the doctor demanded kindly as he focused on the lower region of my wife.

I was holding her hand tight as she laid on the hospital bed in that blue hospital gown. She scram in pain and squeezed harder. My eyes burned as tears brimmed to escape when the sound of a crying baby interrupted the frantic environment. My hand released its grip from my now relaxed wife when the pre-natal nurse team placed our brand new healthy, baby boy into her arms.

"What would you like to call him?", a nurse with a warming smile asked.

My eyes flickered to my other half as if asking her what she had in mind. She carried the same expression, but she finally spoke.

"What about 'Luke'?"

My eyebrows raised. Really? Luke? I shot her my best fake smile. "Are you sure?"

She giggled, "Okay, what do you have in mind, Mr. Tomlinson?"

"How about 'Tomas'? We could call him 'Tommy Tomlinson'! Think about it?", I said spreading my hands in the air as if the name was going to magically appear. A funny glance overcame her smile.

"I'm sorry, but no.", she laughed embracing our newborn. "We always said we liked 'Mason'."

My eyes lit up at the sound of that name leaving her lips. It was true. We discussed the name for a while and my heart fluttered at the sound of it. Mason Tomlinson. It fit like a perfect puzzle. "I like it.", I announced. My lovely wife then looked towards the waiting nurse.

"Mason Tomlinson."

The nurse smiled and rose her eyebrows, "No middle name?"

"Not at all. Mason Tomlinson is just fine."

"Alrighty then. 'Mason Tomlinson' , doctor.", she informned the doctor who was next to her filling out the temporary birth certificate. I released a held in breath that I had realized i've been holding in since I've arrived in the hospotal since my wife went into labor.

"Can I hold him?", I asked my lovely spouse.

Her eyes fluttered to me in a huge smile. That was a stupid question.

"Of course. He's your son, too. You don't have to ask, sweetheart.", she giggled handing me our fragile bundle of joy.

When I placed him into my arms, I instantly felt a warming sensation. My heart leaped in joy and I had the sudden urge to protect him. This is my son. MY son. My one and only child. I made him and he is all mine. Tears began to stream down my face and they are of joy.

"Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Tomlinson, time's up. Your baby will need to be held in a incubator for a couple of days due to yellowing of the skin.", the nurse informed us.

A look of panic overtook my wife's face and a wave of terror over came me. "Wait, what?", I stampered.

"Don't worry. Little Mason, will be okay. The doctor will call you when he's okay to go home. After today, you are free to go.", she assured us kindly and walked out with our angle in her hands.

"He'll be okay, right babe?"

I looked down to see sadness lurking in my love's eyes. I gave her a warm, sympathetic smile as I tried to hide my worry behind it as well.

"He's going to be okay, darling. I promise."

***

BEEP, BEEP! The sound of a honking car startled my flashback. My senses came back to me when I realized that I was driving my car. Frantically, I looked around to see that I wasn't moving, but I was in some sort of lane. In some line or something. Finally, realization snaped inside. Oh! That's right. I came to pick up my son from school. I looked ahead to see no car ahead of me and my son with an escort standing by the entrance to the building. Shifting my car into drive, I slowly moved the vehicle to where they were standing. The smile on my kids face when he saw me pull up was a beautiful sight to see every weekday. I love him so dearly. Unlocking the car door, the escort held his small hand and walked him over to the car. His tiny fingers wrapped around the handle and he pulled open the vehicle.

"Dad!", my pride and joy shouted as he pulled his backpack off his shoulders and tossed it towards the backseat.

"Hey, kiddo!", I say playfully with a huge smile on my face.

I then turn my attention to his escort. She was a woman in her late twenty's and dressed in a black pencil skirt with a white button-up, long sleeve linen shirt. Her coffee brown hair was pulled up into a perfect bun and she flashed me a shiny smile.

"Thank you for bringing him to the car, uhh Miss. Hanson, is it?", I ask with a bit of doubt in my voice.

"Hunter.", she corrects me as she helps Mason onto the passenger seat and buckles his seat belt. "But that's okay, Mr. Tomlinson. You'll remember my name eventually. Have a great weekend, you two." She stays leaning over in view of me and my son.

"See you Monday, Mason."

"Bye, Miss. Hunter.", my world waves his small hand in a goodbye.

"Goodbye, Mr. Tomlinson.", she says batting her eyelashes and slamming the car door closed. She takes one last look at me and I give her a small smirk. Turning away, she makes her way back into the building, shaking her hips. Releasing a breath and puffing my cheeks, I turn my attention back to the road and pull out of the pick-up lane at my sons school.

"You like her, don't you?", Mason spits out looking forward at the road as well.

I huff and keep my eyes looking front, "No way! That's your teacher, kiddo." Suddenly doubt overcomes me. "She is your teacher, right?"

He lets out a playful giggle. "No, dad. She's just a pick-up person. She walks us to our cars. That's all. But, you like her. I can tell."

"Stop saying that. I do not.", I defend. "Let's forget about that. What do you want for dinner, champ?" I ask and turn my glance to him as we stop at a stop light. Mason's eyes light up and his hair bounces as he turns his head to face me. The corners of my mouth lift up as I see his smile grow as well.

"Pizza sounds yummy.", he suggests with a giggle.

The traffic light turns green and I turn my focus back on driving. Hearing that he wants pizza makes my happiness crumble away. It hurts me to let his hopes down, but I have to tell him. Reaching another stop light, I turn to face him once more. Seeing his small body sit in the passenger seat, looking up at me waiting for my response makes me feel like I've been such a bad father. Finally getting the courage to break the news to him, I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Um, Mason. I-I don't think we're gonna be able to have pizza tonight.", I inform him with slight sadness in my voice. His face turns into a puzzled expression. "We just can't afford it this week, son. Im sorry..."

He looks forward, as do I. Moving from the stop light and to continue our journey home, he speaks up.

"It's fine, daddy. We can just eat Ramen, again."

My heart sank. I can't even afford to feed my own fucking kid. The job I hold now as a convenient store clerk only pays so much. Barley being able to afford our apartment bills, there leaves very little left for gas and food.

"I promise, next week, pizza for sure. Alright, Mas?", I assure him.

"Alright, dad.", he speaks so calmly as if he's used to it.

By this time, my heart is completely submerged. I've done this to him so many times. Mason deserves better than this and I will give my son, the best. No matter how much it takes.

"One day, kiddo, one day, we won't be like this, anymore. I promise you.", I promise my only son. My pride and joy. I gripped my steering wheel hard as my knuckles began to whiten. Holding the threat of tears back, I thought about everything. My wife leaving us and taking every bit of money we had. Leaving me to fend for myself and our son, who she claimed she loved so much, but abandoned him. I loved her....so, so much. I can't think of a good explanation on why she would leave. Was I not good enough? Catching a tear slipping out of my eye, I quickly blinked it away. Dazing back into reality, I realized snow was falling gracefully on the windshield. Mason's eyes sparkled as he peeked his head over the window and rested his fingertips on the framing as he examined the falling particles. Don't worry, buddy. It'll get better and I will give you the best life you could ask for. And a new mom.

Even if it's the last thing I do.