That One Marching Band Romance: Movement One

Pulling Away From What's Good

Jackson:

"I'm sorry. I'm here now. I'm so sorry, Danny, really," I tried not to cry as I spoke.

"No. You don't get to do this after ghosting me for a month! I can't forgive you for all those times I needed your support, but all I got in return was your stupid voicemail! You were supposed to be there for me, taking it one day at a time, but instead, you decided it was 'too much!' You know what?!----"

Tears started forming in my eyes, "Danny, wait----"

"No! No more waiting! I'm sick of waiting! We're done!" she turned and walked out of the band room. I stood there. Numb. Tears rushed down my cheeks and I braced myself against the lockers.

"What have I done?" I covered my face and sobbed. I wiped off my face and went back to practice.

"Jackson! Focus! Now!" I snapped into attention and we redid the closer again. Harry ended rehearsal an hour later and I grabbed my stuff and rushed to find Chase.

"Chase! We need to go now. I need to go to Danny's and apologize for everything,"

"I don't think that's a good idea. You weren't there for a month Jack. She's not going to just let that go."

"I need to try. Please Chase," he signed and nodded towards the car. I threw my stuff in the back and we drove over to Danny's. I could feel my heart in my throat and I tapped my foot quickly. We stopped in front of her house and I threw myself out of the car. I walked quickly towards the door and knocked on the door.

"Danny! Sit back down! I got the door!" I heard Mikey's voice and I felt my legs retreating.

"Jackson?" I looked up and Danny was staring at me, "Why are you here?" she adjusted the nasal oxygen mask and wrapped her blanket tighter around her body.

"I want to prove to you that I'm here for you. I want to help you."

"I don't need help from you, that's the doctors job. I needed your support! I needed you to hold me while I came to terms with my body trying to kill me from the inside out!"

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I hate myself for not being there. I just needed to process all of this."

"What about me? I understand that you needed to process this, but I'm the one dealing with it head on. I needed the support no matter what you were feeling."

"I know that now."

"I can't forgive you. You removed me from your life for a month. I called every day."

"I know. Please Danny. Don't do this."

"I need support. I need a shoulder to cry on, and for the month you were gone, I realized I didn't need you for either."

"Dan." my voice was shaky.

"Please go."

"Danny don't. Please."

"I said go, Jackson!"

"Danny," my face was hot with sadness.

"She asked you to go Jackson. I need you to leave," Mikey warned from behind her and I swallowed my tears.

"Please Danny. Don't..."

"Jackson," I turned and Chase grabbed my arm, "Let's go," tears slid down my cheeks and I turned and walked back to the car with Chase.

***

Two weeks later, Finals:

I walked off the bus and changed into my uniform. I wish Danny was here. I frowned my thoughts and shook my head to forget.

"Warm up in ten!" Brett shouted and I set up my trumpet and started warming up my chops. We warmed up with the rest of brass and then joined with the rest of the marching band. I stared at the empty spot in the bass line and felt my heart constrict in my chest further. I pulled my eyes away from the spot and focused on making through the rest of finals. We marched towards the stadium and my heart dropped when I saw Danny waving to everyone from a wheelchair. She looked so pale. Her eyes met mine and her smile faded. She dropped her head and tears burned my eyes. I pulled my eyes forward and walked into the field.

We hit the last note and I felt nothing. No adrenaline. Only numbing pain of my stupid mistakes. We marched all the way back to the buses and were told to change and be ready for dinner. I pulled off my uniform and changed into jeans and a school shirt.

"Find a place for her," I looked over at Mikey and Ty.

"Who?" they both looked at me.

"Danny. She's still part of the band."

"I know she is," I mumbled and they went back to talking. I hate this. Everyone looks at me like I'm the worst person alive. I know I screwed up, but the constant reminder from everyone here sucks. I grabbed my food and sat in the corner, away from the band. I put in my headphones and ate in silence.

***

Two months later:

I walked down the street and turned the corner slowly. I haven't seen her in two months. My heart hurt at the thought of her getting sicker. I stopped at the front of her driveway and noticed that it was empty. I walked up the driveway quickly and knocked on the front door. I waited a couple minutes and knocked again.

"Danny! Are you home?"

"Hey!" I turned quickly and looked at the man staring at me, "Can I help you?"

"I'm just looking for my friend."

"Sorry, there's no one here."

"What?"

"The family that lived here. They left,"

"Left?"

"Three months ago. Their daughter was sick with cancer and they moved for better care."

"Thanks," I gave him a small smile and walked away from the house. From Danny.