Damaged - N.H.

14

"Juliette Carson?"

I took a deep breath, looking up at the man standing in front of me. I nodded at him and he smiled.

"I'm Dr. Craton. Come on back to my office."

I looked at Niall and he nodded at me. "I'll be here if you need me."

I stood up and followed Dr. Craton down the hallway, glancing back at Niall reluctantly. When we reached his office, I took a seat on the couch and he sat down on a big chair across from me.

"Your boyfriend?" He asked, referring to Niall.

"Fiancé." I corrected.

"Ah, that's right. Congratulations." He smiled. "I was reading over your notes from your visit with Rob. It looks like he's been with you through a lot."

I nodded. "Niall is pretty much the only thing that has kept me stable...up until now, at least."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." He replied.

I shrugged. "I come with a lot of baggage. That's a lot to put on someone."

"So you feel guilty?"

"You could say that." I agreed.

He wrote something down and changed the subject. "So, I'd like to hear your interpretation of what happened with your past relationship if you don't mind."

I gave him a run down of everything that happened from the time I started dating Chad to the night he died and he jotted down notes as I spoke. He would occasionally look up at me and nod, but he waited to speak until I was finished talking.

"So you've been struggling with nightmares about him lately?" He asked.

"Since Niall has been away for work, yes." I replied. "I don't understand why they started now. It's been months since Chad died."

He nodded. "That's what I want to help you figure out. That must've been a traumatic night for you. How did you feel when you found out he had passed away?"

I sat silently for a moment as I tried to think of the right thing to say. "Relieved...but sad, too. And I don't know why. He was an awful person."

"But you loved him at one point in your life?"

"I did, yeah. I've never told Niall that I was upset about it. I thought he might think differently of me or take it the wrong way." I admitted.

"You're entitled to your feelings. Sometimes it's not as simple as just letting go of feelings you used to have." He replied.

"I feel like it makes me sound crazy, though. I was terrified of Chad for such a long time, then when he was gone, I couldn't wrap my head around it."

"You love Niall." I wasn't sure if it was a question. It sounded more like a statement.

I nodded. "I do. I love him more than I thought I ever could love someone again. He's good to me. Always has been."

He smiled at me and wrote something down on his notepad again. "How is your relationship with your parents? You haven't mentioned them at all."

There it was again. The question that always came up. "I was close to them...but they died in a car crash when I was a teenager."

Dr. Craton stopped writing and looked up at me. "I see. I'm sorry to hear that. Who was your guardian after that?"

"My grandma. She died of cancer when I was twenty." I said calmly.

"What did you do after that?"