Damaged - N.H.

28

I must've taken at least 6 more tests, all of them positive, before I finally stopped living in denial. I was starting to accept the fact that I'm pregnant, but that doesn't mean I've completely come to terms with it yet. I was still upset, a little depressed, and to be honest, I felt irresponsible for allowing this to happen so soon into our marriage. I've cried at some point every day since I found out, but I've been careful to do it when Niall's not around. I don't need him to worry about me any more than he already does.

Niall. Sweet, sweet Niall. I think he walked around in complete shock for about two days after we found out, but since then, he's been as attentive and comforting as he can. I can see the joy in his eyes when we talk about it, but he's careful to suppress it because he knows I'm not quite ready to celebrate yet. He gives me little nudges of encouragement, trying to gently help me see the bright side of this and how great it can really be. I love the way he views life, but I'm still petrified and I don't know when I'll be past that.

We were currently in Denver and to say it was cold would be a major understatement. I've never seen so much snow in my life. It is the middle of February though, so I shouldn't be too surprised. Niall managed to finally convince me that I need to go see a doctor so on one of his days off, I booked an appointment for one here in the city. It would have to do for now.

We trekked through the parking lot, the sky cloudy from snowfall and ice cold wind blowing relentlessly on our faces. The only thing that gave me a slight bit of comfort was that since we had to dress so heavily here, it would be harder for anyone to recognize us.

We walked into the warm building and I signed in while Niall stood behind me. We went to sit down and he immediately lowered his head so his ball cap would cover his face. I wasn't quite as easy for people to recognize so I just quietly stared at my phone until my name was called. It's not that he was embarrassed or nervous to be discovered, but I practically begged him to be as inconspicuous as possible because it was me that didn't want us to be noticed. Until I could come to terms with this, there was no way I wanted the entire world to know that I was carrying Niall Horan's baby, regardless of us being married. Which was also still a secret, by the way.

Neither of us had told anyone about the baby yet and the only people that knew about our marriage were the guests that attended and Niall's management team. His publicist, Ambrosia, threw an absolute fit when she found out we eloped but Niall quickly calmed her down, and even his manager backed him up by letting her know he was in control of his personal life.

It didn't take long for them to call me back and I breathed a sigh of relief that she used the fake name I requested. I just didn't want to take any chances. I was much less anxious when we were put into a private room but my nerves skyrocketed again as she prepared to take my blood for testing. There's not a lot of things I hate more than blood and needles, but I sucked it up and stayed quiet.

After the nurse left, we sat in the room for an agonizing half hour before the doctor finally came in with a clipboard full of papers in her hand. She was a middle aged woman with her sandy blonde hair pulled back into a loose bun. She smiled before introducing herself.

"So you're doing some traveling, are you?" She asked.

"We are. We won't be in town much longer, but once I took the pregnancy test, I figured I needed to see a doctor...Just to make sure everything is okay."

She nodded as she read over the papers in her hand. She looked up and gave me a soft smile. "Well, you're definitely pregnant. About five weeks, I'd say. Congratulations."

Niall gave her a small smile as he wrapped an arm around me, turning his head to look at me. I managed to choke out a "thank you" but it was half-hearted.