Within You

eight.

Month after month of speech therapy and physical rehab has helped me gain quite a bit strength back. My legs have been getting stronger, but I am not as strong as I was prior to the accident. My parents call in from Japan every night to check in on me and to ask me how living in Rancho Cucamonga is. I lie each time.

Rancho was perfectly fine. Where my aunt and I lived, it was a quiet apartment complex and a quiet area. I was five minutes away from the stadium, which my aunt has taken me only twice to watch Cody play. Lexie was still in a coma; she was eventually transferred to another hospital that was close to LAX. Doctors say she has been making significant progress and they believe she will wake up soon.

I sat on the couch watching a movie, waiting for my aunt to get back from the store with tonight's dinner.

Cody 💙⚾️: I'm on my way to your house

I decided not to answer him and continued to watch my movie, coughing a bit. To me, things with Cody were on the rocks. He works so hard to try and help me, but I never let him. I heard a knock on the door to see Cody's tall figure rocking back and forth, waiting for me to open the door. I opened it, holding my oxygen tank in place. "Hey," I managed to say.

Cody's smile grew and he walked into the apartment. "How are you baby?" He questions as I plop down on the couch. The tears began to roll down my cheeks and the hoarse sobs escaped my lips. Cody's hazel eyes widened and then eventually he held me in his arms.

I think back to that night of the thunderstorm, of the accident, and I wish that we had practice that night no matter how crazy the storm was. "What is it?" Cody asks. "Do you need to write it down?" I shake my head and look at him, trying to get my words together.

"I... can't... be..." I stopped halfway, shaking my head.

"Kylie, you can do it," Cody reassures as I look back at him.

"I... can't..." I tried to fight through it to say the sentence smoothly. "I can't be... this way. I regret... going... to... I regret going with them."

I lay back in Cody's arms as I continued to cry. Cody just held me and caressed my back to calm me down.

"You're okay, you're alive."

It was a rainy night, thunder rolling through the skies. No, it's this specific night. Lex, Paula, Tara, and I were dressed up and ready to go have our fun at the bar. The rain fell steadily as we made our way out the dorm and into the car.

I texted Cody to just let him know I would be out and he can text me after his game. Of course, no reply since he was playing tonight.

We drove off toward Hollywood. It seemed that the whole UCLA volleyball team was going out tonight. The plan was to meet up with some USC girls and have a few drinks.

The drive seemed easy, the freeway flowing with cars. I notice the swerving car unlike everyone else. We switch lanes to the exit, to go toward Hollywood and that's when the car smashes into the driver's side. Paula's side.

Everything is slow motion now. I was smashed under the seat and eventually ejected into the pouring rain. I lay there on the gravel, wishing that I was back in my dorm. Staring at the lightning filled sky, I wanted to text Cody, but I don't know where my phone is.

Cody💙⚾️: Hey I just finished the game! We won 🎉

Cody💙⚾️: You said there was no practice are you okay?

Cody💙⚾️: Is everything okay?

Cody💙⚾️: Be safe!

Cody💙⚾️: KYLIE?