falling flower | han jisung

- fifteen -

                       third person
he made his way out of the room, he was hoping that no one would see him in this vulnerable state. where he was a mess. a hot mess that couldn't describe his feelings without lashing out.
maybe that's why he didn't want you to be with him, maybe that's why he wanted you to be happy. "jisung come here." he heard chan call out for him, he sighed. he made his way over to where chan was.

"yes hyung?" he asked helplessly. chan looked at him worried, "let's go to my office." he said leading him and jisung into the office area. jisung looked as if he'll cry again. "what happened jisung? what happened between you two?" he asked, he was only worried.
you would expect him to be right? "chan hyung i confessed. i confessed everything to her. she told me she hated me. she told me her and jeongin were supposed to be married yet he refused-." jisung got choked up. he couldn't bring himself to mention that he made that promise. that promise he wants to keep. but you deserve better.

"hey hey ji calm down, its okay." he tried soothing jisung, he didn't understand what it was like though. to feel as if the person you want to be with, doesn't like you back. they want nothing to do with you. "chan hyung she said she hated me. she said she remembers seungmin, she's mad that i didn't fight hard enough for her. for us. i'm helpless, i can't let her go but she deserves better." jisung let out, all the pain.

he never knew what it was like. to
have someone he loves, to be able to want to call them his. to want to be able to give him the same love, and affection back. "jisung you're joking right?" chan asked him, "you must be fucking joking, of course she's going to be pissed off with you! you were someone she relied on, you were supposed to be her best friend. her soulmate for gods sake, of course she's going to say things she doesn't mean!" chan exclaimed making the younger boy jump.

"but don't you ever say she deserves better if you aren't even willing to talk to her openly aside when she has her breakdown or you're feeling lonely. don't lead her onto think, maybe just maybe he doesn't care let's move on. you need to grow a pair and face your own feelings han. you're dismissed." chan stated. jisung looked at him with shock.
he has never seen chan so angry, so upset, he knew chan was right. of course he was, he needed to face his fears, his feelings. however how could he do that when he knows there's competition out there. he knows you could go to hyunjin or changbin for gods sake, they all look at you as if you're the most prized possession in the world.

jisung made his way to his room only to hear something he didn't want too, "hyung i think i like y/n." he didn't know who it was, he didn't want to know he rushed into his room. the suffocating feeling came again, he couldn't breathe, he didn't know what was happening wether or not he was having his own crisis or he was over exaggerating.
he was grasping onto his pillows, crying loud enough only for people near him to hear.

he was never this emotional, he was never this hung up on someone. but he knew, that you had him whipped. that you had him and others wrapped around your finger, chan was right. he needed to do more for you. he couldn't only care for you from afar, he needed to be able to help you through your stuff.
"i'm such a fucking idiot." he exclaimed, he threw his stuff on the ground, now it was him who needed comforting. him who needed to hear those three words that he said. he didn't want the other members, he wanted you.

he heard a knock on the door, "come in." he breathed out hoping he can help himself calm down, it was you. he was surprised, "i thought you were sleeping y/n." he stated obviously still breathing heavy with tears coming from his eyes, "i woke up during you speech you said." you told him, "are you okay jisung?" you asked him staring at his fragile state, he couldn't answer.

he didn't want that burden to go onto you, "you know, it's okay to not be okay right? you don't have to go through it alone." you said again, this time he sobbed. holding himself hoping he could find warmth within himself. however he felt arms wrap around him. "you'll be okay jisung." you tried your hardest not to let his sobs hurt you more than they did already, "it's okay that you're upset about what happened. it's okay that you're not okay." you soothed him.

soon enough he wrapped his arms around you, once again this scenario played out again. "y/n lie to me. tell me those three words. only once please. i beg of you." he pleaded. it hurt you knowing he just wanted closure, that you loved him. he wanted to know if you needed him the way he needs you.

"i love you jisung." and at that his grip tightened, and the hug lasted longer.