Oneshots... Assemble!

Cereal Shopping Is Hard

Inspired by that ^. Hawkeye goes cereal shopping.

A tired looking Tony opened the fridge while rubbing his eyes. He grabbed the gallon of milk and peered around for some eggs and bacon. The billionaire grabbed the whole carton because he knew he would need them all.

When living with the Avengers, you would need to cook a large meal. Especially when a teenager and two one hundred year old virgins had enhanced metabolism.

Breakfast was soon made and ready when most of the team finally went in. Oh, and yes, of course Tony Stark started making the food at four in the morning. Why would Tony ever need to sleep, according to his logic?

The only person who hadn't visited the kitchen to investigate the smells was the one they least expected: Peter.

The team didn't know him that well, seeing as Tony had basically become his second guardian just like that. Now, they were always in the lab working on something together. They did know he was Spider-Man, much to everyone-who-had-fought-him-at-the-airport's dismay.

Steve had already left with Sam and Bucky to go on a late morning jog when all the food was gone. Except for the one bacon strip that Tony had threatened them to save for the teen. Nobody felt particularly threatened by him, but also wanted to keep it for Peter.

All of the eggs were gone, courtesy of Clint. Who knew the resident archer could eat so much food in one sitting. When Tony acknowledged that fact, Natasha just snorted while Clint showed his favorite finger in Tony's direction.

That also happened to be when Peter Parker walked in wearing Spider-Man pajamas and one of Tony's old MIT sweaters. "Hey everyone."

"Wakey wakey, the eggs and bakey are already gone," Tony mocked while instead grabbing a box of cereal. He knew that was Peter's back up choice of breakfast; probably why they were running low.

"What," he paused to yawn, "did I miss?"

"Breakfast. Friday, order cereal."

Friday hesitated, "The online store is currently offline. You have to go into the store in person to buy anything, sir."

Tony groaned. He hated having to do stuff like that; it was way more convenient just to place an order and have it delivered. Welcome to the twenty-first century.

"Romanoff, go-"

Natasha didn't say anything, but pulled out a glock, two regular sized knifes, and even an extremely small blade. Where does she keep these things? "Just so we're clear."

"Barton, go-"

Clint yawned and said, "Yeah, I don't think so..."

"You just ate all my god damn food! Go get the fucking cereal!"

Clint gave an exaggerated sigh and turned to Peter. The brunette teenager did nothing but give the sad puppy dog eyes. Natasha smirked at her partner.

"Fine." And that's all it takes to get a badass spy to go buy you some cereal when you're too lazy yourself.

"Yes!" Tony and Peter said at the same time.

Clint gulped down the rest of his chocolate milk (because he's Clint) and picked up the keys lying on the kitchen counter. "I'm taking your car, tin can."

"WAIT, WHICH ONE?" Tony shrieked, utterly terrified for his cars safety, but the archer was already in the garage getting in an expensive looking, shiny and very red, Lamborghini.

The first thing Clint did was turn on the radio, which Friday automatically linked to his music downloaded on his phone. "Friday, play this song in the kitchen and tell Tony, 'I love Led Zeppelin!', got it?"

***

"Hmmm..." Clint stared at the enticing colors of cereal boxes. A few people looked at him, probably wondering what he was doing standing in the aisle for over ten minutes.

"Tony said 'get cereal'. So, check?" He wondered aloud to himself while inspecting a box of fruity pebbles and the chocolate variant. Then he threw it into the cart.

"But Steve said 'healthy cereal'. So, probably this too?" Clint yeeted a box of cheerios and whole grain into the basket, right on top of the sugary ones.

Then, Clint eyed the poptarts section. "Aren't they all the same? Why the fuck are there so many?!" He pushed a row of chocolate, brown sugar, and strawberry flavored pastries into his shopping cart.

Clint tried to think about which ones Lila and Cooper liked. It was nearly impossible to remember, especially since he hadn't been home recently due to an uptake in SHIELD missions and Avenger-ing.

Clint was about to go to the check out line and be done with everything, but then spotted the cinnamon toast crunch. "Fuck it." He received a glare from an old lady, most likely standing beside her grandchild. What a nerd. Poor kid is wearing a boy scouts uniform. "Sorry!"

"Tasha loves this, therefore..." Clint kicked away his shopping cart. It rolled down the aisle and then collided with a card board cut out of the frosted flakes tiger. "Everything else is unimportant! Flawless logic."