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Waiting Game

(harry and louis' outfits above!)

Louis p.o.v.

I woke up the next morning an hour before my alarm was even set to go off. I had tossed and turned all night, desperate for sleep to take over. All I wanted was to escape the reality I had created for myself, even if it was only for a few hours. As soon as I woke up, I was met with a massive headache and an overwhelming grogginess rushing over me. The events of yesterday began to flood my mind quickly and it felt as though I was being forced to drown in my own thoughts.

I quickly began to experience the guilt sink in as I gained awareness of my surroundings. I felt like complete shit for cheating on Eleanor already, but knowing I had made them both feel used ripped me to shreds. Even if Harry had known I had a girlfriend it was still wrong of me to do, but the fact that he hadn't known was just a stake to the heart. I sighed getting up feeling the weight of all I'd done pressing down on me. I was going to have to carry this feeling for awhile.

I decided that there was no use in rolling around my bed for another hour so I just got up and went to the closet. I couldn't care less about what I was wearing so I just grabbed a fuckery of clothes and put it on. I ended up with a grey baggy shirt, dark grey sweats, and a black zip up hoodie. I looked even worse than I felt but I just shrugged it off and splashed some water on my face. I felt numb to everything, but what I had done to El and Harry.

I brushed my teeth quickly and decided to check my phone. I had been dreading the idea all morning because all I wanted was a text from Harry, but I knew I didn't deserve it. I carefully grabbed my phone and opened it. Just as I had predicted, Harry's name wasn't on my screen. It shouldn't hurt, but it does. I had grown to love that Harry's name was always on my screen. It was practically part of my wallpaper, it was always there.

I sat in my little pity party before I texted the lads that I would be driving myself today. No one responded which just added to the numb loneliness I was already submerged in. I knew that they were all still sleeping, but I was not in a good enough state of mind to accept that reality. I needed to get out of my house so I got in my car and drove. I just wanted to get to school to see Harry. I needed to know how he was.

I stopped and got coffee on my way because I needed it today more than ever. I got two hoping I could give one to Harry. I know how sorry I feel but I don't know how to show it. Vulnerability was never my strong suit, but you've got start somewhere and this was the best I had for the time being. Eleanor was right. I just had to play the waiting game.

I parked my car in the rather empty parking lot before heading to my locker. I put what I needed away and walked to the art room. The door was closed, but there was a little note hanging on it.

Doors open Harry! Just running around getting ready for today. Feel free to get whatever you need!
~Ms. J

I smiled a little at the kindness that was placed in front of me. It warmed my heart to know Harry was at least noticed by someone. I carefully opened the door, my hands shaking, and beads of sweat collecting on my forehead. Harry could be on the other side of this door, and as intense as my desire was to see him, he probably wanted nothing to do with me. The least I could do was respect that.

I walked in and was met with a cold, empty room. A jumble of relief and disappointment rushed through me making my already indistinguishable feelings more intense. My thoughts had developed into a labyrinth within my own my mind and I was trapped in the middle of it.

I set my bag down by my seat before grabbing a sharpie from it. I looked at the coffee I had gotten for Harry and decided I would write a note on it and leave the room so I wasn't interrupting his morning. I sat for awhile running through all the things I could write before I settled on something.