under the yellow light ➸ meanplan/2wish

UTYL #13

Saint

Tired, I wanna doze off to bed and fall asleep already. Sighing while staring at the door of the condominium that Zee gave to me. After a minutes of staring at the door, I unlocked it and got inside. But I almost jumped into startled seeing him laying on my bed with his teasing pose. I rolled out my eyes and I could hear his annoying sneer at me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him in my normal tone of voice while reaching him in his place. I sat beside him and he crawled towards me. He put his head on my lap while he was massaging my thigh.

"Of course visiting my favorite person" both of us gawked to each other. Giving him a half smile. I started to brush his hair off with my finger and give him a little comfort.

"I missed you" he almost whispered. I didn't answer him back as I continued to brush his hair. He squeezed the right part of my thigh. He knows I'm not that vocal to him and he let me continue doing that.

"It's been almost two years right?" he started to break the ice again. I just hum as an answer. I can clearly remember how we met and how I was struggling to get myself out of that situation.

I don't want to come back again.

He found my hand and held it firmly. Gently kissing the back of my palm as he treasures me.

"Are you Perth doing good?" I'm hoping for the different or the opposite answer he always answered to me.

"Nah, I am close to giving him up. Our parents really displeased to him and every day passing by he became worse than ever. Wait did he do something to you?"

While shaking my head, I took my hand off him. Quickly took a glance away from him.

"I'm sorry" I'm guilty and I will always be.

"It's not your fault, it was him. He was the one who decided to do that and rebelled" he can't take that blame off to me. He can't.

"Zee.." he fixed himself and sat properly in front of me. Now he is looking at my face again with those eyes. Those pair of eyes that exactly I saw from the very first day. He cups my both cheeks with his bare palm. Intently look at my eyes. His worried eyes make me want to cry and break down.

"You've been living guilt-tripping yourself all of these years. You have me, Saint, you will always have me. I love you" Those three words struck me. I can't avoid feeling more guilty.

Zee you are such a good guy, you don't even deserve someone like me.

He leans his face near me. As I closed my eyes, expecting his lips will brush against my lips but instead his warm lips kissed my forehead.

"Can I sleep here" he whispered through my ear. I just nodded and started to hug him while we positioned to lay down in the bed. We just continue to cuddle until we doze off to sleep.

Mean

I was forced out to hang outside today. It was the weekend and I expected to have the least sleep. But Neena called me interrupted my rest day and asked me out. I was thinking about declining her but I don't want her to get to think too much that I might avoid her. Were been dating for a day but I can see how Neena treated me changed or I was just the one thinking those. Actually this revenge thing was silly. I just don't want to do it. Being with her was suffocating. Cause I know to myself that it won't change the fact that Neena used me and took me for granted. It was already proved that she only likes me because I can be that guy she can brag about. Even after all of this transformation and improving myself, I was still that petty guy who used to like her.