Oblivion -ATEEZ WOOYOUNG-

Metanoia

I slowly woke up smelling my favourite food.
„Ramen." I slowly stood up and looked around where I am and what happened.
„Wooyoung." I remembered I am such an idiot I kissed him?! I grabbed my head and didn't know what to do.How could I do that to Haru?!

„Are you awake?" I was startled.
„What are you doing here?"
„Well you were unconscious so the doctor at the accident scene took a look at you and said that it's because you were startled so I took you home.
„Who changed my clothes?!"
„I called Hani when she got here, she took your phone to call Haru.We didn't know the pin to your apartment."
„W-what did you tell him?"
„She told him that you drank to much and she took you home...she didn't mention me if you mean that.
I sighed.

I stood up but was about to fall again I was so dizzy.
„Lay down again.You are weak now because you ran around like a crazy woman.You even got fever."
„I am ok Wooyoung.Please leave."
I couldn't look at him I did such a horrible thing.
„I will leave after I am sure that you are fine."
„Stop it! It's already embarrassing enough that I kissed you." He didn't say a word.

„You must be thinking that I am pathetic idiot who still didn't get over you.Well you are right...I still like you but I have no intention to show you my feelings.I will always stay by Haru's side I will live hiding these feelings deep inside me."

„If you are trying to avoid me because of that, you don't have to do that.I will behave just like before nothing will change...I will act as if it never happened." he said seriously...somehow I was relieved but it still hurted him saying that he will act like nothing happened....I was dumped again.
I turned around so that he can't see my tears. I wiped them away and looked at him.

„You are still the same...dumping me while looking coldly at me....and after that acting like everything is good." He sighed and came towards me.
He grabbed my hand and took me to kitchen.

„Sit down."
„What did you cook?"
„I wanted to cook but you only had Ramen.Do you only eat that?"
„I can't really cook..Haru always cooked for me."
I could see that he was uncomfortable when I mentioned him."
„Eat up."

„Now go.I am fine."
„Rest tomorrow."
„I can't I have to practice..."
„But still..."
„You can't decide can you? First you wanted me to dance again and now you are saying not to go?"
„I just don't want you to faint again."
„I won't go don't worry."

1 week later

A week passed.Haru's fashion week was also over and i didn't exchange much words with Wooyoung and tried to avoid Haru as much as possible.
But I can't do that anymore...I wanted to wait until his fashion week is over to tell him the truth to tell him to break up.I thought about it a lot I always said that I will never leave him but...staying by his side will only make him unhappier.

„Dinner is ready."
Haru came over to cook again and I guess it will be last time eating his delicious food....
„What are you thinking about?"
„I have to talk to you Haru."
„You are scaring me..." he was sitting on the chair giving me his full attention.
„I thought about it a lot....about us.I can't do this anymore." he didn't say a word.He was silently listening to me.
„You know...I kissed Wooyoung.I actually never stopped loving him....I found out about it recently but I thought I could shut down my feelings for him but...my head is filled with thoughts of him.I didn't want to leave you because you were always there for me but know I think it will hurt you more when I stay by your side and...it's hard for me too."

„Wow.I didn't come here today thinking we will talk about this."
„Sorry I-„
„Do you think I didn't know about your feelings for Wooyoung?"
„What?! You knew?"
„Of course I did...but I was selfish.I couldn't let you go so I acted like I didn't know...It was a mistake, I didn't want to see you cry."
„Haru I-„
„Let's Break up Haewon.You suffered enough....and this way I can tell everyone I was the one who dumped you." he said smiling while his eyes sparkled because he held back his tears.

„Thank you Haru and I am sorry."
„Hey we are still friends right?"
„Am I allowed to be your friend?"
„Of course...I can't lose you completely." I smiled and nodded.
„So can we stop being depressed and eat? It's getting cold."
„I have a question...you won't stop cooking for me right?"
„Of course not...I can't let you starve."
„I am so relieved I thought today will be my last meal." we laughed and after eating Haru left....

I got out of the bus arriving at college.
Now I have to go on my own.No Haru who will pick me up. I sighed and walked towards the gate where I spotted Wooyoung.

„Good Morning." I said and he smiled.
„Good Morning...thank god."
„What?"
„I thought you were avoiding me."
„I had something to take care of."
„And did you?" I nodded.
„Hey...should we skip school? Let's go have fun."
I said holding his hand.
„You serious?" I nodded.
„Then Let's go what are you waiting for."
We ran as fast as we could so that no teachers sees us.

„Where do you want to go?" he asked.
„Amusement park."
„Really?" he smiled looking at me who was totally excited.

„Come on let's ride that too."
„Wait no are you crazy...."
„Come on Wooyoung don't be scared."

„I think I am gonna vomit."
„Huhuuuuu it's so much fun what do you mean?"
I screamed on the ride.
„I am not getting on more rides that's it."
„Come on that's the last one."
„You said that a while ago."
„Woo please." I said.
„Don't look at me like that."
„Let's go after that I will treat you to delicious food."
„I don't think my stomach agrees."

„I am so done for today." he said sitting on a bench.
„Here drink that."
„Thanks.Are you feeling good now?"
„ Yes it made my stress fly away."
„That's good." he drank his drink while I looked at him I want to change...Mom, dad, sis...is it ok that I hate myself a little less...can I share my pain with him? I want to tell him everything.Am I allowed to be a little bit happy?
„What's wrong?"
„Woo?"
„Hm?"

„You want to know why I left back then?"

Metanoia; the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life

🌸Hm seems like only a few chapters a left;)🌸