Oblivion -ATEEZ WOOYOUNG-

Alexithymia

I told him everything...the reason why I didn't take part in the competition and the reason why I left,why I stopped dancing and why I am attending college.

Wooyoung P.O.V

„It's all because of me...if I accepted your feelings back then...you would pick up your phone and-„
„Stop it Wooyoung. It's absolutely not your fault."
She doesn't know anything...it is my fault.I dumped her even though I had feelings for her too.But now I can't tell her, why I dumped her it will destroy her completely.She went through so much I can't do that to her.The only way is to hide my feelings....

Haewon P.O.V

I felt much better telling him everything.Its as if I could breathe again.
„That's why you panicked when it rained..."
„Yes.I get like that every time it rains...I can't do anything about it.I always try to stay at home and listen to music so that I can't hear the rain but that was not possible this time...I had so many scary thoughts that something might have happened to you." he took my hand in his and looked up to the sky.
„Thanks for telling me everything...now that I know that you are scared of rain.I will always come running to you."
„That's so nice of you." I said and laughed.

„One more thing...I broke up with Haru...we agreed to remain as friends."
„Really?! I mean...really? But why?" I am sure he sounded excited for a moment or am I imagining things?
„Because of you....I still love you Wooyoung." I looked at him and smiled but Wooyoung only looked startled not excepting this answer.
„Don't worry I won't jump on you.I know you don't like me but I can't deny my feelings anymore.No I don't want to."
„Haewon I-„
„Hey calm down I never said to answer my feelings."
He smiled slightly looking worried.

„I can live on with this one sided love...I thought I couldn't but hiding my feelings and acting like I love someone else...was harder."
„I just want...that you tell me everything.Don't hide you worries and think about them by yourself.Share your pain with me that's all. I don't want you to disappear again."
„I won't."
„Promise?"
„Promise." he smiled and stood up.
„Come on I will take you home."

On the way home we talked a lot.How I got to know Haru, how I lived after leaving them and about leading the company someday....
„That's really sad...you have to give up your dream for it."
„Well I felt sorry towards my family if I lived well on my own...I can't be the only one living her dream while my family, especially my sis can't.

„Listen to me Haewon."
„I am sure your family won't want you to live thinking like this.They supported your dream and they surely still do.They want to see you smile.You have suffered enough."
I bit my lips as I could feel my tears coming up again.A lump was building in my throat.

„Wooyoung I-„
„It's ok.You are allowed to cry." he took me in his arms and I couldn't hold myself back anymore.
„That's not fair you idiot.You always make me cry.I am actually not an crybaby but because of you I always start to cry."
„Don't get angry at me you are the one who said that you like me.I never told you to do that." I laughed.
„Come on it's getting dark."

~2 weeks later~

„Practice is done for today."
„Come on let's go." the other girls said excited.
„Wait I have something to announce." the teacher said.

„There will be a competition for ballerinas.The one who wins first place will be labeled the best ballerina of Korea." everyone was excited and of course me too.My heart starting racing like crazy..

„Actually the competition is for the senior classes but we have two talented girls in our class so I requested if we can send someone from our class too."
„So who are the lucky girls?"

„Haewon and Jisoo come forward."
Jisoo...the girl who was once my best friend but left me because I also had feelings for Wooyoung.She hated me for it and even wanted to get on my nerves when college started but...after I found out about her scandal she didn't bother me again."

„I can't believe you want to send Haewon too miss."
„Jisoo you are a really good ballerina but you are too overconfident you are too focused on winning meanwhile Haewon enjoys dancing it's her passion...I am really curious if your will to win or Haewons passion about dancing bigger....that's it for today.Haewon,Jisoo decide if you want to participate and sign in until tomorrow.The first competition will be held in 2 weeks."Jisoo left looking at me annoyed.

I don't have to think about it....I won't participate.
That's what I feared, if I start I won't be able to stop.I have much more important things to do....

I left the practice room and saw Wooyoung waiting for me again....I could get used to it.
„Hey."
„How were the classes today we didn't have many subjects together."
„It was boring as always how was yours?"
„Well a little exciting I guess."

I told him about the competition.
„So you will participate right? OMG I need to tell the guys."
„Calm down Woo I won't participate." I said taking away his phone so he doesn't send the message anywhere.
„But why? You finally have the chance to get closer to your dream.Did you forget what I told you yesterday? I told you that your parents will be happy for you." We arrived at my home.
„Listen Wooyoung I can't be selfish I can't just throw away the company and throw everything at my uncle."
„But you won't be happy like this."
„I know I won't be happy but you won't understand it so stop it please!" I screamed this time.
„Wooyoung I-„
He won't understand.I gave my uncle the burden of the company if back down now,it's like throwing away the company to him.He always said that he is waiting for the day he can give over the company to me because he is sick of the work he has to do there... so I can't give my uncle this burden...Never.

„Haewon." I turned around and saw my uncle and his family coming out of my apartment.
„We need to talk Haewon."

Alexithymia; Difficulty describing feelings to other people.

🌸Ok guys the end is nearing and ATEEZ comeback is nearing too.I am so excited 😆See you next time!🌸