Sweet Tears

Was That Necessary?

Although I'm tired.. Roy was quite entertaining today. On the other hand, Martin's behavior made me confused. He was my source of fatigue. I contact Martin. Well, it's pointless. He doesn't reply. I better go to sleep.

"Mimin, wake up. It's morning already. Papa is waiting for breakfast." Mama calls me from the doorstep with her signature soft voice.

"Yup, okay ma. I'll go down in a minute." My pillow feels so soft. My body doesn't want to leave this spot.

I take my towel. I enter the bathroom. After I reach for my school uniform, I go to the dining table. The conversation between papa and mama makes me curious, since I never heard about it. Of course I've heard about it. Papa and mama talk about an orphanage, Roy's mother's workplace. I'm surprised and curious. Why are they talking about it?

"Pa, Ma. What is happening? Why are you talking about it? What happens with that orphanage?" I ask out of curiosity.

"It's nothing. Papa and mama are discussing, is it better for us to adopt a child or not, since you don't have any sibling." Says mama lovingly.

"I prefer to be alone pa.. ma.. You don't have to worry about me being alone." I keep my head down and say it softly, really soft. The two of them are speechless.

A gloomy face accompanies me to school. Martin is already there. I have to find another seat. There is no way I sit next to him being all sad. Moreover, the situation between us has not get any better. If only Martin tells me what he's been hiding...

"Min!" He calls me! 'What am I supposed to do? Keep silent. Stand here. Right in here. Let him come to you, Min.' I say it silently. My legs numb. My classmates realize it and they come to me before Martin. Those questions, I've heard it thousand times whenever I look miserable. Toilet is the best place to avoid it. I walk as fast as possible through the crowd. Hoping that nobody realize that I break down before I reach the bathroom. Someone grabs my hand out of sudden.

"You must be heading to the toilet and you're going to cry in there. Follow me, I'll show you the best place to cry." Once again, it's Roy who comes... instead of Martin.

Martin sees us sitting in the school's backyard. He wouldn't want to come over, for sure. But... for the first time in forever, Martin comes over and pulls my hand and takes me away.

"Let's go to the class, I don't want you to skip classes with him again." Doesn't he see my puffy eyes? He takes me to the class instead of worrying about the crying me. That's it, Martin would not want me to be close to Roy.

"I know you're crying." Still holding my hand, Martin says that without looking at me. "Wipe your tears." Martin always makes everything feels weird. He doesn't tell me anything about yesterday or now, he doesn't cheer me up. Luckily, we are not late for the class. He does not seem okay. He seems gloomy and not excited. There is no way I can cheer him up when I myself need one. The class is dismissed, I stretch the tense muscles of this tired body and be grateful.

Now Martin takes me somewhere. It's a beautiful garden surrounded by lots of flowers. He asks me to sit on a bench, so I sit on it. Wait, Martin kneels in front of me instead of sits down beside me. That look, the look of someone who has not meet me for decades. I look anywhere. I become awkward. Martin makes it this time. Finally, I tell him why I cried. So does Martin, he tells me why he fought, so that he became so gloomy since yesterday. I find out that I am right about the misunderstanding and the worse thing is that the misunderstanding created a gap between Martin and Roy. I'm glad to have a good friendship with Martin. Finally, we can be mutually open. I've stopped crying and Martin is no longer gloomy. We buy cotton candy then Martin takes me home. Since my first school day, my mama never picked me up from school. But, my mama tucks some money for transportation. Of course, I have to go home on my own. I don't have to spend any money to go home. The last two days, Roy take me home and today I go home with Martin.

When I arrive at home, Martin says " My cotton candy is not sweet.." when I give the helmet to him. I smile a little because I know he doesn't mean it. "Right, it doesn't taste sweet, because I ordered the flavorless one. Haha." Ah, I really thought that he would say that I'm sweet and I take all the sweetness from the cotton candy. It turns out that his joke is unpredictable. "I'm going in. Thank you." Embarrassed, I enter my house in a hurry. I thank the one who takes me home before that. But, does a flavorless cotton candy really exist? Ah, forget it.

I haven't entered the house when mama suddenly stops me and asks mevarious kinds of question. Who was that guy? Where did you go? What? Why? Howcan you be with him? So, I tell her the truth that he is Martin, my schoolmate,my classmate and my seatmate, to be exact. But, he is my best friend now. Royhas not contacted me so far. When we were in the school's backyard, Roy told methat he's super busy. Even his Mother does not realize that he skips classes tohelp her in the orphanage. When the kids finally get adopted, it's a gift fromGod for the two of them. The point is, he tried to say that my parents reallycare about me and about the adoption, it's not always referring to a negativething. Indirectly, I realize that adopting a child will help Roy and his familyalthough he has not contacted me yet since he has been busy at his Mother'sorphanage.