Sweet Tears

It's Over

I will toss away my fear, my worries, and everything that take my happiness away. I will finish my novel soon, why should I drown in sadness? I am getting bored of feeling sad. Yesterday, mama looked for publisher who wants to publish my script and someone forgot to pay the electricity bill, causing a sudden power blackout. I was paranoid. And today I get myself ready to meet the publisher. My heart is pounding like crazy. I hug a pile of white paper full of the story of my life and it is ready to be given to the publisher. I have been through lots of moment in publishing my novel. Time flies, but not so fast. I don't know how to express my happiness.

I usually sit inert on my wheelchair, chair that accompanies me in good times and bad times. But now I am sitting on my wheelchair in excitement. I hope for the best. Hoping for a desired result. I wait for quite a while, but it doesn't matter. My waiting has paid off, the publisher tells me the truth. And now, everything seems to be in vain.

"Ma.. Pa.." I call my parents, breaking the silence, accompanied by sobs of sorrow.

"Yes, my dear?" Papa smiles at me and mama wipes my tears of sadness.

"Why is it rejected..." I say it in a hoarse voice because I catch a cold, I look down.

Mama smiles and hugs me, while Papa strokes my hair over and over again.

"Don't be disappointed. Let's find another publisher, okay dear?" mama gives me hope.

Finally, papa, mama and I go to the second publisher. I still remember the thing that happened earlier. Will it happen for the second time? I get on the car papa rented to take me places. I don't want to lose the happy moment. We talk while listening to some songs. I enjoy this pleasant conversation, I really enjoy it. The disappointment slowly fades away.

We arrive at the second publisher. I am happy here. I really hope that it will come true, that my novel can be published. After trembling for quite a while worrying that my novel will no be published again this time. Someone approaches me, mama, and papa. Finally, something good happens to me! He says that my novel will be published! I am delighted :")

"Ma.. Pa.. I'm happy, it happens because of you. If I don't have you, what am I going to do? I'm really happy ma, pa, I love you."

"Yes, dear, we love you too.." say mama and papa simultaneously.

Although appearance matters to this world. But it does not apply to God, mama and papa, of course to Roy my best friend, Roy's Mother and the kids in the orphanage. I love you all who have supported me. "Thank God, You gave me strength and happiness. You made me learn to be a better person and be grateful."

It's time to go home and I cannot wait to get on my bed. I am exhausted. I want to take all the burden away and keep the happiness in my sleep. I get on the car hastily with the help from mama. Before we go home, we take a picture of the three of us together, sitting in a row. It becomes a pleasant experience. The picture will be a reminder of this nostalgic moment.

On our way home, we enjoy some snacks, and talk more about pleasant things. I cannot wait to enter our house. I told mama to not help me get off the car when we get home, because I want to do it myself. And I'm so happy when I hear mama says 'yes'. Mama got another thing to do when we arrive at home, so she left me and papa in the car. Soon after, papa goes to take gasoline in the storeroom after he prepared the wheelchair next to the car.

When the two of them leave, I try to get off the car by myself. My wheelchair is waiting for me next to the car. It is rather difficult since the rent car is quite high. I hold on the backrest of my wheelchair, and prop my body firmly. The wheelchair suddenly lose control and I fall down. I can feel that the pain starts from my head when I stumbled. Before I hit the ground, I hit my head on the sharp edge of the wheelchair and slightly injured. After that I knock my head on the ground.

Let me explain, the yard of my house is covered with stones that are not too big but they are not too small like pebbles, and these stones are sharp. So, my head bleed and I cannot fix my position after I knocked my head on the ground. It's too painful. It's so painful. I close my eyes and try my best to bear the pain for the second time. I do not scream because I lose my voice. In the midst of pain, I hope mama and papa find me as soon as possible since we have no neighbor. So that I can be treated immediately. But the reality does not go as I planned. I am bleeding out. My heartbeat is getting weak. I see an ocean of blood around me when I open my eyes. I bear the pain for the umpteenth time.

Regret comes back to me, why does it take so long for mama and papa to come. It only happens in a brief moment and there is nobody else. In such a critical moment, I picture papa and mama. They scream and shake my body. They are weeping endlessly. When I open my eyes, I see myself lying down covered with an ocean of blood. Mama and papa are there to save me, they are crying hysterically. Papa tries to call someone while crying and I have no idea who is that person. When I see myself with my own eyes, I realize that now I belong to another world, a world that is different from my parents'. I hug them happily, they don't even realize it. This is going to be a burden for them. I can hear mama exclaims "I shouldn't have let her tried on her own. Why did I trust her so much? Oh God please don't take Mimin away!"

I cannot hear mama says anything like that. It is suffocating. Soon after, an ambulance comes to take me to the hospital. Both my parents seem helpless. Suddenly mama faints before she can keep up with the ambulance. I find it pointless. Because I'm dead. I see papa's phone rings, he seems weary as he pick up the phone and his lips tremble when he tries to say something.

A couple of minutes later, Roy comes with his Mother. Everyone seems helpless, they must be hoping that I will make it. I will never forget my best friend Roy and the orphans and also Roy's Mother, of course. I see them go to hospital but they cannot see me. I smile at them.

And one more thing..

I can see Martin by my side, and we smile to each other.

THE END