i'll save you

10. ego

monday, august 29
4:47 pm

aaliyah.

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

"It was just a scrimmage. Plus, I really didn't see the foul," Zion explains. "I don't know why he was so upset about it."

"He was upset because that was his chance to get them back for all the shit they've put him through. That was his chance to prove himself. You should've backed him up, Z. He needed you, bruh," I say angrily.

"Look, I'm not trying to get on anyone's bad side. Miles will be okay. I promise. He's a big boy."

"Fuck you," I spit, then hang up the phone.

How the hell can you just dip on your best friend like that? Simply because you want to fit in or be accepted? It's bullshit. We aren't in high school anymore. Zion really needs to grow out that shit.

"Hey, J."

Speaking of sorry ass best friends.

"Hi."

"Are you still mad at me?" Lael asks, sitting down on my bed.

"No, I'm not mad. Just confused."

"About what?"

"You claim that you care about me getting sober but you bring alcohol in here every night. It's on your breath. It's in your clothes. It's everywhere," I rant, referring to the past couple days.

"I'm just trying to have fun, okay? College is about experiencing new things. Meeting new people. Making dumb mistakes."

"I understand that. I get that it's not your responsibility to make sure I don't relapse, but don't claim to give a fuck if you don't."

"I have been by your side since we were little, Jordyn."

"Doesn't mean you're by my side now."

"Whatever, Jordyn. Fuck you. You can relapse for all I care."

"Aye bitch, calm the fuck down," Kylie says, walking into the room. "That's some messed up shit to say to someone you claim to care about."

"Who you callin' a bitch?" Lael says, dropping her purse, knowing damn well she can't fight.

"You, bitch."

"HEY! Kyle, it's okay. Just let her do her."

"Na, cause I don't fuck with disrespectful females. I will burn your ass," Kylie spits, looking Lael up and down.

"Fuck both of you," Lael says, walking to her side of the dorm room and slamming the connecting doors.

"AND YO ASS PAYIN' FOR ANY DAMAGES TO THAT DOOR SINCE YOU OVER HERE SLAMMIN' SHIT!" Kylie yells, sitting down next to me. "Girl, I'm sorry. I just fucking hate mean ass people."

"You're good. Thank you, though."

"Of course. Now, please tell me you're hungry."

"I'm always hungry."

"Let's go to Times Square! There's a ton of food."

"How we gonna get there?"

"The subway, goofy. I promise you'll be safe. It's not as bad as people make it seem. At least in my people. Come on!"

∞

"Baby? You okay?"

"I'll be fine, baby girl. Where are you?" Miles asks.

"Times Square. Baby, it's beautiful. You gotta come up here soon!"

"I'll be there soon. Go have fun, baby. Call me later."

"You sure? I can stay on the phone."

"I'm sure. Go! Call me later."Okay. I love you so much!"

"I love you more, JJ."

As I take in everything around me, I realize that this is the first time in a while that I feel happy. I just wish Miles was here to take it all in. He'd love the chaos. The random people dressed up as characters. The incessant sound of car horns beeping. He'd love it here. New York is the best place for him.

"You're such a tourist," Kylie laughs.

"Shut up! We don't have it like this in Miami. This some different shit," I smile.

"How is he?"

"Not good. I can hear it in his voice. But I don't know how to help him. He's always been there for me. He always knows exactly what to say to make me happy. And now that he needs me more than ever, I'm completely lost," I admit.

"You'll figure it out. There's only so much that you can do from this far away."

"I know. He's just so worried about his mom and baby sister."

"He need me to beat someone's ass? I'll do it. Doesn't matter where the ass beating needs to take place. Miami's only a plane ride away," she says, punching an imaginary person.

"I'll let you know," I laugh.

∞

miles.

Hearing Jordyn's voice calmed me down some. I'm happy that she's happy. Even if it's only for a little bit. I just want her to be happy. She deserves it.

"Hey, brother," Zion says, as he throws himself onto his bed.

I ignore him, continuing to play 2k. I'm not a soft guy, never have been, but I am very unforgiving. Once you show me who you truly are, I accept it, and move on with my life. Keeping toxic ass people in your life just isn't worth pain.

"Look, bro. I just said what I saw. I didn't see the foul. It's just a game," he laughs. "It'll be okay. I promise."

"Fuck you, Z."

"Yo, who the fuck are you talking to?!"

"You! All you care about is impressing people, and kissing ass. You couldn't care less about the game itself."

"Basketball is my life, Miles."

"No it's not. You don't love basketball as much as you love your image."

"Whatever, dude."

"Yea, whatever," I say, grabbing my lanyard and walking out.