i'll save you

11. come home

saturday, october 1
5:47 am

jordyn.

It's the first day of fall break, and the first thing I'm doing is getting my ass on the plane. I'm not gonna say the first quarter of college was the worst thing I've ever had to go through, but it definitely wasn't the best. It wasn't even the homesickness that made it miserable, which is what I expected. It was more of that college didn't meet my expectations.

People go to college with these high hopes. They think that all of their problems will magically be solved. However, that's not how it works. All that college does is make you realize how fucked you are in the head. You also finally realize that you have absolutely no idea what you want to do with your life.

"Mom, I'll be fine. I'm about to board, I got to go. See you when I get home," I say, hanging up before she can start panicking more. I don't think anyone else is more afraid planes than her.

The only person I'm truly looking forward to seeing is Miles. I need to see his face and hug him. I can tell he's not good mentally. The basketball season hasn't even started yet. I just hope he's okay. I know once I see him I can do something. He landed yesterday, so, he's gonna pick me up from the airport.

Only 3 more hours.

∞

As I come across the corner, I see him. My baby. Everything feels better.

"Hey, baby girl."

"Hey, baby," I say, crying into his neck. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you more."

"How are you?" I ask, looking into his eyes and seeing how unbelievably sad they are.

"I'm good now. I needed to be with you."

"You look so sad, baby. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm okay, princess. Come on. I'm hungry. Can we go eat?"

"Yes, let's go," I say, moving off of the subject.

"Where do you wanna go?"

"I don't care. You pick," I smile, grabbing his hand.

"Can we just drive till we see something?"

"Yea, sure."

I stare down at the ground as we begin to walk to his truck. This should be a happy moment. A moment of love and bliss, but it's not. Something's different. He's closed off from me and I don't know why.

"I told you about that staring at the ground, didn't I?" he scowls, pulling me out of my head.

"Sorry."

I pick my head up, but that doesn't stop my mind from racing. I don't understand how he changed so fast. I know he's had a hard time with basketball, but it's more than that. I know it is. But, I don't want to push it.

When we get to his truck, he grabs my suitcase, placing it on the trunk. Then, walks over to the passenger door to open it for me. Before he opens it, he pulls my chin to look at him.

"What's wrong, JJ?" he asks.

"Nothing. I'm good."