Sinner | Spencer Reid

Chapter 37

Jaella's POV

My fingers are tapping wildly at my side as I get on the train to the other side of the city. I'm still nervous about travelling on public transport, and I've made this trip many times before to Spencer's, but usually I can call him and distract myself. This doesn't seem to be the case. I texted him after I got home last night and this morning, but he didn't reply to anything.

I'm just being a paranoid girlfriend.

I just hope that he's alright. So now I'm on my way to his apartment for our bookstore date that we planned yesterday. I've decided to come clean about the case. It's stupid if I just keep hiding things from him. I also feel extremely guilty about kissing Daniel. I know that it was him who kissed me and I tried to get away but, I still feel shitty about it. Speaking of last night, I'm sporting a lovely bruised eye from when Daniel so kindly connected his fist to my face. I'm not really bothered to cover it up with makeup so it will just allow for the topic of me going back to my job to come up more quickly, now that I can't exactly avoid it.

I hop off the train and decide to walk to Spencer's as it's not too far. It's raining slightly but I don't mind. We didn't decide on a time to meet up at as he didn't text me back, so I thought that around two o'clock was a safe bet. Plus I hate early mornings with a passion. I arrive on his street and make my way to the apartment complex.

I get to his door and knock three times. No answer.

Maybe he didn't hear me.

I knock three more times. Still no answer. I call his phone. No answer.

Strange. I should make sure that he's okay.

I scroll through my contacts until I reach the person that I need.

"The empress of information is here, what can I do for you?"

I chuckle at her antics. "Hey Penny."

"Oh hi Jaella," she greets in a tone different to her normally chipper one. I also notice that she doesn't use her usual nickname for me.

"You ok?" I ask, concerned.

"I'm fine," she answers quickly.

"Okay," I say uneasily. "I was just checking if you knew where Spencer was. Cause we made plans for today but he doesn't seem to be at his apartment. Is he alright?"

"I don't think he wants to see you right now," she replies in a harsh voice.

"Penny what's going on?" I ask, getting more confused by the minute.

"I'm not gonna let you hurt my friends anymore." With that the call clicks to an end.

What the fuck is happening?

I pace outside of Spencer's door, trying to make sense of anything. Morgan and Garcia were both snappy with me. Giving up, I slide down the wall into a sitting position on the floor. I put my head in my hands defeatedly. Eventually, I doze off into an uneasy sleep.

My head shoots up to the sound of a door clicking open. Standing in the doorway, is Spencer, looking worse than I've ever seen him; his hair is messy, his eyes are red with dark circles underneath. I stand up abruptly.

"Spencer, what happened? Are you okay?" I take a step forward to comfort him but he takes two steps back.

He looks me straight in the eye. "Leave," he says through gritted teeth.

My mind feels as if it's about to explode. "Please, tell me what's wrong," I beg, wanting to know what's happening. "We can fix it together."

"Go home Jaella," he demands. He's never once spoken to me so harshly before. Something is most definitely wrong.

"No Spencer. I'm not leaving until you tell me what the bloody hell is going on?"

He steps into his apartment and I think that he's about to close the door, but instead he returns with a coat and barges past me. I stay where I am, even more confused.

He turns back around. "Are you coming or not?"

I quickly follow to catch up. I feel my breaths becoming more laboured, not because of the fast pace of Spencer's long legs, but because of the worry about whatever the hell is going on. We make it outside where the rain has become heavier, immediately soaking the both of us, but I'm too anxious to care. We get to the park beside the complex and I have to pull forcefully on his arm so that he comes to a  stop. He whips around and it almost scares me how intense his stare is.

"Spencer." I reach out and take hold of his hand. "Please tell me what's wrong? Are you okay?"

He rips his hand away from mine. "I saw you last night," he says with a blank expression.

Fuck.

I swallow nervously. "Did Derek tell you what I told him?"

He scoffs, getting more annoyed. "Yeah, he did."

So he knows that I was on a case.

I look down at my feet which suddenly become way more interesting. "I'm sorry," I whisper, not meeting his eyes.

"Sorry? You're sorry?" He raises his voice and begins to yell now. "Sorry won't cut it Jaella."

"I know okay. I was stupid. I was going to tell you when we met up today," I confess,

"Why? Why did you do it?" He asks in an annoyed voice.

"I just missed it Spencer," I say referring to my job. "I should've told you and I'm sorry."

"What did you miss huh?" He begins to yell. "Did you miss messing with people's feelings? Did you miss sleeping around? Did you miss being a slut for people to play with?"

I feel as if I've been punched in the stomach. The world stops.

"Is that what you think I did?" I ask incredulously. "You think I cheated on you?"

He looks at me and his eyes soften for a second before going back to how they were before. "I guess that's how you got that black eye," he replies, malice dripping from every word. "He found out about your relationship with me. Or did he already know? Morgan told me that he saw the two of you leave together. What's he like in bed? Better than me?" He scoffs whilst I can't manage to form any words. "He probably is. Sure, that's the only reason you'd get with someone. Once a whore-."

Now my own voice raises. "Spencer how could you say that? I was on a fucking case. I didn't tell you about it because I knew you wouldn't approve." I feel my heart thumping wildly in my chest. "For being a genius you really are acting like a complete idiot. Why the fuck would I do that when I'm so in love with you?"

There's a long silence. Spencer looks as if he's been been shot. He doesn't utter a single word, just stares at me until I speak again. "But I guess it doesn't matter now huh. Since I'm such a slut according to you."

And with that I barge past him, the rain masking my tears.

*cries in 10K*