Graduated Time [ 00.00 ] - StevexTony AU

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟯𝟬 - 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘆𝗲𝘀, 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀 ⎊

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That night I let Steve sleep alone, I didn't go into our room to sleep. I went to Bruce's room, or...what was going to be Bruce's room, had he not disappeared before he could even see this place. It felt weird, that whole day. I had been looking, searching, doing and redoing everything to see if I could find Bruce, but nothing.

And then I argued with Steve, lashed out over things he had no control over. But I...I still kind of meant what I said, no one in the team but me gets blamed for these things. And it's probably 'cause I am who I am and I used to be a certain way before, and people think I can't let go of that.

I'm trying to relieve myself from that past every day, trying sometimes to ease my conscience. But sleeping in Bruce's room didn't help with that, gotta say it made it worse. I kept dreaming about how he would decorate the room, and I dreamt about how I messed everything up with Ultron.

I made him do it, not once thinking about what it would do with him. But luckily for him I was still the one who got the blame, and I deserved that. Ultron was my fault, not his. But if it had gotten any worse then maybe people could've gotten a whiff of Bruce helping me with the project.

I hate admitting it...but at one point I cried. And I wanted Steve to comfort me, I wanted to go back to him and hear him whisper to me that everything was okay. And I kind of wanted to hear that it wasn't my fault that he left, maybe it was..maybe it wasn't...I have no idea.

But nevertheless, I stayed in the room. And I met the rest of the team at breakfast the next day, looking more disheveled than usual because of how rough it had been to 1. Sleep in Bruce's room and 2. Sleep alone after almost a year.

"Good morning, Tony." Natasha said, her voice softer than usual. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew about the fight Steve and I had, I don't think she was listening in. I think she might've stumbled upon us and then decided to leave, out of respect for the both of us. I'm glad she did, if that is what she did.

"Morning..." I mumbled, trying my best not to look at Steve who was sat by the table. He had a plate with toast on it, he was hunched over with his elbow on the table, resting his head in his hand. He didn't seem to chirpy this morning either, doesn't mean it's about me.

It could be about anything. He probably doesn't give a shit. It would feel like it, sometimes. That he just recovers, from everything without feeling the consequences afterwards. He always claims I'm so closed off, but I can bet on my insured ass that he's sitting on some horrible things and a tumultuous past.

"Have...—found anything on Bruce?" Clint asked, the reluctance to even ask clear as day. Natasha had been putting the dishes in the dishwasher, she had begun to do it slower and with less force. Telling me she was listening clearer and feeling guilty, like we all did. Everyone felt it was our own fault.