To All The Girls I've Loved Before - Jenlisa

Chapter 13

2019, 2 days after the night at the gay bar

Her head was throbbing again, not just from all the stuff she needed to finish over at Tisch before the semester's break begins, but also from the pressing haziness of the weekend. She still hasn't heard from Jen; the Korean deliberately trying to avoid her by not answering any of her calls. She's not at her apartment either.

It's driving her insane. It's been a long time since her best friend got mad at her like this, but at least she always knew why. This weekend was so muddled in her head that she didn't even know WHY Jen was angry. She kept asking Jisoo and Chaeyoung, but both girls were swearing they're not keeping Jen in their apartments and haven't really heard from her either.

Lisa hit her right temple repeatedly, trying to get the headache out as she pressed her phone to the other ear. She's starting to get the ire of Chaeyoung but she doesn't care. She will call them again to get them to give up Jen's location if she can.

"Lisa, for the last time, Jen's not with me!" Chae's voice on her phone's speaker blasted through her ear and made her other temple hurt. Great. Now both temples are throbbing.

"Chae, please, just tell me where she is. What did I do?"

A soft knock goes through the door of her apartment. Lisa wedged her phone in between her shoulders and her ear to pull the locks on the door.

"Like I said, Lisa, I don't know what happened. She never told us anything that night. I just know she was pissed but that was—"

Jen was standing there, looking conflicted as Chaeyoung's exasperated voice on Lisa's phone echoed in the quiet halls.

Lisa's jaw dropped, eyes widened.

"Chae, I'll call you back," Lisa cut her off and ended the call.

The blonde nervously stood there, unsure whether to hug Jen or not.

"Jen...I—"

Her words died in the dryness of her throat. Nothing she could say felt right. Nothing she could say seemed like it could encapsulate everything she wanted to say. But Jen continued to linger; brown eyes fastened to the Thai's face, soft but stubborn and refusing to look her in the eyes.

It took a few more breaths, both of them gauging how to move forward. Where Lisa looks pleading, Jen looks absolute; and as Lisa wondered exactly what that look meant she heard the air through her teeth as the brunette suddenly gasped—

—and launched herself into the blonde uncertainly, lips softly landing unto hers, as innocent, as tentative and as experimental as a first kiss could get; but also as calm and as secure, an assertion that only years of familiarity could bring.

Both of them lingered in the kiss, melting in each other's warmth...yet Lisa's head was plagued by the plausibility of ruining something perfect.

How was it possible to feel two ends of opposing feelings in a kiss? How can you find the warmth of coming home then suddenly jump to the fear of losing the only home you've known all your life?

But that's the thing, the blonde thought to herself. I'll never stop wanting her.

Then, fuck fear.

Fuck it.

Lisa was about to indulge herself deeper into the kiss when Jen hastily broke away, eyes wide in obvious worry about this trespassing she allowed herself to do.