To All The Girls I've Loved Before - Jenlisa

Chapter 18

Late 2020, weeks after

It was five long gruesome weeks.

The weeks after Jen left became a challenge of resolve for Lisa.

For one, she spent most of her sleepless nights at home trying to call Jen. At first, her girlfriend would give her all the details she could and Lisa tried to pass on as much hope as she could. Jen has calmed down considerably now that she could be physically there. There's still an edginess to her voice though, possibly brought about by the fact that there was still a lot of unknown around her mum's current state.

She just called her every day, listening, telling her what the Korean needs to hear. She never told her about how Lisa felt distressed about the too empty a bed, or how her scent has started to wane. Or how she hated having to go home to an apartment bereft of Jen. She can't possibly add more stress to the girl. She promised she would push through with New York and Rankin for her, so if she needs to show she's strong, she will.

It helped that Jisoo was constantly there. She would tell Jisoo everything she knows and they try to sort it out together, often with inputs Jisoo gets herself from Jen. They figure out the best way to approach things. She never complained even if Lisa ranted non-stop, and for that, she was grateful that Jisoo was still in New York.

They never really talked about it either, maybe because Jisoo didn't want to impose on Lisa. All Lisa was told was the Korean defied her parents' wishes and stayed in the US, taking on a role in banking hoping to appease her parents a little. Just one or two more years, please, she told her parents. One or two more years of freedom and I'll come back to you.

Lisa knew there's more to that, of course, and she makes a mental note to clarify from Jisoo once all of these have gotten more bearable.

Chaeyoung was also there. The girl was scheduled to graduate on time and was swamped to the brim, but she managed to find a time to check in with Lisa. If Jisoo helped manage her feelings for Jen, Chaeyoung made sure she helped manage herself. She was the one who kept reminding Lisa to be mindful of her time, to keep healthy, to rest more. That she needs her energy and focus allocated on the things that would demand more from her. To not spread herself too thin.

But then the updates became harder and harder to take. They also came in less and less. Maybe the Korean felt like the less she shared, the less the updates were true.

And then Jen started snapping when she asked for more details, so Lisa started avoiding asking about her mum and just waited for anything the girl could spare her. Jen sounded tired, trying not to complain about how much the whole thing was taking an emotional toll on her. How every visit to the doctors became dreadful. How seeing her mum vomiting and becoming more tired made Jen more and more agitated. Jen thrived in controllable details, and Lisa could read in between her words how Jen's starting to feel like everything was slipping out of her grasp.

Weeks after, Jen became more busy on the times that they try to catch up.

It wasn't easy. The blonde tried waking up at 5am just so she could catch Jen in her early evenings, or stay up after 1am New York time just so she could speak to Jen till after lunch Korea time. It started to take a toll on her internship with Rankin when they noticed she's less energetic, but she always tried to make up for it.

She tried giving her best, but a part of her also felt like she was just waiting for them to realise she's fucking up. Like she's counting the time for the bad news to be delivered.