I accidentally made this a draft (I was thinking of writing something and made a new chapter and forgot what I was going to say) and I don't want any drafts here, so we're gonna make it into a real chapter
Someone asked for a chapter about coming out, and today's a motivated feeling day, so I've decided to write it now.
Psychology Today found that coming out to your parents can improve your mental health a considerable amount. Also, coming out to anyone lets you be more honest and genuine with them, and you don't have to monitor what you say to make sure you don't accidentally out yourself. Being open to people feels better usually (provided you're comfortable)
But also coming out is scary and stuff, so how to do that?
The most important thing always is that you have to make sure that you'll be safe coming out. Also with corona, you'll probably be spending more time with your family with normal.
My sixth grade music teacher used to say if you're not nervous about something important, it's either because you're an idiot or you don't care. It's natural and fine to be nervous.
No one gets a crash course on how to react to coming out. They may never have heard about asexuality before. People generally don't like change (cough cough boomers), so they might not have the most positive reception at first. This is okay!! They're learning about a new, unfamiliar thing, and they don't know how to react. As they learn more about it and get used to the idea, they will warm up to it. Just be patient and answer all their questions and remember why you're doing this and that they'll be better about it in the future. It will end up okay.
At least for me, coming out to my friends has been WAY easier because we live in a pretty liberal town, and most of the time they were like, "yeah, makes sense."
most of the time, adults will be harder, but you'll be able to do it.
How to come out:
This is really up to you. If you want to avoid confrontation, you can write them a letter or send on email and make a video or power point about it. You can also just sit them down and talk about it or you can bake a cake and write that you're ace is icing or whatever else you want to do. Nobody knows asexuality exists, so when you come out, make sure you're in a position where you can explain it and answer questions.
If it's written or prerecorded, you can explain it there, but if you're doing it in person, make sure no one has anything urgent they need to do. I'd recommend 15-20 minutes as a minimum. It's up to you, just make sure you're not rushing.
~These are all just suggestions of course. Do whatever you want that makes you feel comfortable~
Things to have ready when explaining:
1. I'd recommend explaining the split attraction model, especially the differences between romantic, sexual, and platonic attraction
2. Talk about your experience and how you see the world. The media portrays asexuals to be emotionless robots, so it's important to show them that you're still the person that they knew before you came out.
3. Comparisons can be helpful. Comparing it to something like k-pop where some people are very enthusiastic about while others just aren't very interested or don't think much about it might be good? If you're coming out to someone who doesn't experience attraction to all genders, comparing the entire human race to a gender they aren't attracted to should work
4. Have responses prepared to questions they might ask.
5. Even if they ask stupid or offensive questions, be calm when you answer. *There's a difference between letting them ask whatever and believe whatever, so correct misconceptions*
Very very likely, coming out is going to feel uncomfortable or scary. This is a secret that you've kept hidden for a while. calebwking on instagram has a good post about this, and one part of it goes,
"Almost no one is ever "ready"
The experience of coming out is SCARY and that is OKAY!
You are opening up a part of yourself that you haven't before.
Coming out is not easy or simple, it is a process that you might go through repeatedly, and YOU CAN DO IT!"
And that's a good way to put it :)
Good luck and happy last day of pride!!
YOU ARE READING
MiscallACEneous things :)
AléatoireI ran out of room in my first book, so here's the second
