Thorns and Berries

Chapter Twenty-three

Husna

We had hardly driven far from his place when my phone buzzed with a call from Kareem. I picked his call, glad to have something else to occupy myself with, since neither Hameed nor I, was talking to each other in the car.

Kareem had called to ask how my day went and I had gave a little white lie about having a severe headache. He comforted me and had then said something to make me laugh and cheer up and when we ended our call with 'I love you', I could swear I saw Hameed's jaw tighten and his knuckles clench tight to the steering of the car, his eyes dark with jealousy.

No way. He couldn't be jealous. Why would he even be? I meant nothing to him. Maybe I was just thinking things too far. I had been thinking things too far since my conversation with Kamal.
   
When we drove into the estate, I asked him to drop me few blocks before her house but he played deaf and refused to stop and to my greatest bewilderment, dropped me right by the foot of our big black gate.

How did he know my place? Whatever the answer could be, I needn't bother myself seeking for answers. Before I left his car, I opted to break the thick wall of silence between us.

Well, someone has to swallow her pride and do it this time.
      
"Thanks for the evening. I had fun."
  
But he scoffed and replied,
      
"Isn't it an irony that you did but I didn't?"
      
"I'm sorry." I said calmly, unsure I meant my words.
      
"Cool."
      
"I wish things didn't have to be like this."
      
"Forget it."
       
"It wasn't my fault."
        
"It was mine, right? Why don't you just admit you're scared over something?"
        
"What are you even saying?"
        
"You know too well."
        
"I don't. You tell me."
        
"No, I won't. And..., way to go trying to get to me with your boyfriend."
    
I glared at him in disbelief.
       
"What the heck are you even saying? Why would I do something like that?"
   
He did not reply this time and looked away instead. He still looked terribly angry.
       
"You really need to get a grip of yourself, Hameed." I fought to stay calm even though my insides burned aflame with rage. "Please drive safe on your way home. And goodnight." I said and alighted from the car, shutting the door after me and making my way to the gate. My eyes grew teary as I walked away, regretting that our night had to end this way. I hated how short our fun had lasted and how the truth had plunged us deep into an abyss of darkness and unfriendliness, yet once more.
   
Later that night, when the whole household was busying themselves for the wedding which was the next day, boiling tomatoes and peppers, frying cow meat and dicing onions that sent tears into the eyes of everyone present and making kunu and zobo, I had gotten a call from Hameed, apologizing with a shaky tone, for being too harsh on me. In turn, had replied him, trying to sound strong and dry,
        
"I know, Hameed. I am sorry also. But I do not want us to be friends anymore. We are toxic to each other. We should stop seeing." And without waiting for a reply, scared I might change my mind, I had cut the call immediately, staring at the rose petal painting that hung from the wall of the room.

I wondered why my life could not be like that of a flower- blossoming and attracting true love naturally to itself. I refused to shed a tear this time and fought it back down my glut. This was for the best.

Kamal was right about me falling for Hameed and I felt really stupid and dumb. It was wrong. So wrong. What would Kareem think of me if he found out about my silly hormones controlling my sense of reasoning?

I felt as stupid as the girls Hameed had dated before. I let his dripping façade sweep me away and was stupid to believe just one night was enough to start things all over again. As friends. Or maybe I had stupidly thought we could make something romantic out of our new friendship. It was so wrong and pathetic and yet, somehow funny.