The Silence Of Metawin.

吃

"How come you've never asked me about my mother?"

Questions like this always seem to come to Win when he's across the dining table from Bright, and for a while now he's found it easier just to verbalize them instead of wondering why he wants to ask. If he does wonder about it, he supposes that it's because he no longer wants to carefully select his words in the way he used to, hiding his thinking defensively. Almost killing them both seemed to have cured him of the need to conceal parts of himself, and occasionally he lets himself believe Bright might feel the same way.

"What would you like me to have asked?"

Seated in the darkened interior of the yakitori restaurant, chopsticks paused in mid-air, Bright looks his normal calm and carefree self. And why wouldn't he, the yakitori is excellent, the establishment is quiet and spotless, the staff are almost invisible, and so far today, he has gotten everything he wanted. Win shrugs, moving his food around on the plate.

"Oh, I don't know. The kinds of things therapists usually ask. How old was I when she left. Do I remember her face. Was I breastfed."

"That's not a question I would need to ask you, Win."

Dipping his gyutan in sauce, Bright transfers it to his mouth with the kind of sensual grace he reserves only for eagerly anticipated food. His eyes close momentarily, before flickering open again to focus on Win's.

"Would you like to talk about her now?"

Giving his head a small shake of irritation, Win frowns, "No, not especially."

"Then perhaps this is not a conversation about your therapy, but about our relationship?"

Bright pauses in his eating again, his eyebrows raised slightly in a question mark, and Win feels his skin flush with warmth. The area on the nape of his neck where Bright had laid his hand earlier feels especially hot, and with a stir of surprise he realizes he'd enjoyed the sight of Ishikawa's face as their connection had been made clear to him.

"Maybe. I suppose I'm curious about your life, your early life, and sometimes I wonder why you're not more curious about mine."

Bright frowns slightly, but it's not a frown of annoyance. It's the sort of frown that normally tells Win that he's being considered obtuse. Taking a toriniku from the platter in front of them, the other man carefully basted it in sauce, tapping it on the side of his dish delicately before transferring it to his mouth.

"Win, ever since the first day I met you, I have had every intention of learning everything there is to know about you," his eyes rest on him for a moment, "I take my time for the same reason I take my time to eat this meal, or drink a glass of wine."

"You're…savouring me."

"I had imagined we were savouring each other," his brows draw together slightly, "Has that changed?"

Win draws in a slow breath. Even after knowing him for as long as he has, he can never entirely adjust himself to the way Bright finds his way through his questions to the one he really wants an answer to.

"That's what I'm trying to understand. Ever since we came here, I've felt better than I ever have in my entire life. Calmer, clearer, like I remember feeling back when I was a kid, before everything started changing. I feel like…things are balanced for me for the first time, and it's been a hard thing to admit to myself."

"That you're happy?"

It sounds ridiculously simplistic when Bright says it, but Win gives a small nod of recognition.