Blood In The Water / Mafia / Kim Taehyung

~ 23

His fingers weave through my hair, coating the strands in vanilla scented shampoo. I feel Jungkooks face come down and nuzzles itself in to my neck. He leaves a small peck on the skin between my neck and shoulder as a sudden wave of emotion floods over me as I feel myself begin to cry, mostly from guilt. I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have let him believe I could return the same feelings he had for me. Before he can go any further I pull away from his grasp and what were small sobs become sharp gasps and loud cries.

"Hanna, I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?" His eyes fling open wide and he reaches out for me once again, scared he'd gone too far or hurt me in anyway. I move further away from his outstretched hand deciding now was the time I had to tell him, no matter what the repercussions would be.

I want to tell Jungkook he did nothing wrong but I struggle to form the words, instead nodding my head to signal a no. He seems to relax a little but he still looks perplexed at my sudden outburst of emotion. "I love Taehyung. I'm so sorry," I choke out, the words tumbling haphazardly from my opened mouth. I knew I'd hurt Jungkook and by the way his entire body freezes up and his eyes go void of any emotion I knew the damage was done. I struggle to decipher the blank expression on his features, was it betrayal? Sadness? Anger? It didn't really matter because I knew regardless, they all stemmed from a broken heart.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" His voice is loud yet quiet, blunt yet soft, as if even Jungkook couldn't work out how he really felt. "I was still trying to work things out. I tried to feel the same way about you, I really wanted to but I couldn't." I knew everyone word I said just added another stab wound in his heart but I needed to explain myself.

Even if we would never be more than friends Jungkook was the person I relied on the most and seeing him so hurt by my own actions pained me more than I'd thought it would. Jungkook shakes his head in disbelief and paced around the bathroom. His hands are clasped into fists, but I knew he would never hurt me. I grab a towel from the side and wrap it around my body before climbing out of the bath. Jungkook goes to leave but turns to face me before he reaches the door, "you know Taehyung's just using you, right?" he spits out, his anger quickly starting to boil over.

"Why are you saying this to me now?" I argue, sure he was just saying things to make me hate Taehyung. He didn't know about Taehyung showing me my mother's grave, nor did he know about Taehyung wanting to change.

"Taehyung needed you for his plan to work. Do you know how many other girls Taehyung has tricked into loving him before leaving them at the side of the road?" It's a rhetorical question but Jungkook still pauses as if waiting for an answer, "I don't know why you think you're any different to them." I'm stunned into silence. My breathing had gotten heavier and I'm sure I could feel the blood flowing throughout my body. "Please don't say that Jungkook," I say feeling my eyes sting with tears again, "please tell me you are lying."

"I'm not," he breathes out heavily, "I never would lie to you, Hanna." He walks out of the bathroom leaving me alone. My feet are stuck to the ground, unable to follow after Jungkook or run to my room. Jungkook had all the reason in the world to be angry with me, I knew when I stayed I'd made it seem like I was staying for him.

For the next week, I stayed up almost all night, only being able to drift asleep once I knew Taehyung was in his bedroom and the light that shone from underneath his door was no longer there. I was exhausted, both physically and mentally.

"Shall we watch a movie?" Namjoon suggests, looking up at me and Taehyung who were sat on separate couches. It was around midnight, the others had either gone sleep or were in their rooms entertaining themselves. Me and Taehyung hadn't seen much of each other recently, only partaking in morning greetings and late night farewells. It wasn't that we were deliberately trying to avoid each other but our relationship had changed since that day.