Reee
Aragon's POV
They would all be okay with this but am I? This isn't normal or right. I don't care about others preferences but I can't be this way. Who could I ask for help? I should talk to Anna, she seems like I could say something to her without judgment.
Anna: Hey
Me: uh hi
Anna: sup
Me: nothing much
Anna: You're talking to me something's up
Me: How did you know you, you know, liked girls?
Anna: I guess it was a few centuries ago. I never felt anything for men. Then at some point someone came up with a word for it.
Me: ok
Anna: sooo like are all your questions answered...
Me: yep thanks
I can't think like her. I can't be like this. It's wrong that's what I was taught. Why am I contradicting myself? I can't help this. Why is this so confusing? I don't need a title. Maybe I could just say I'm not straight. I never expected this. This isn't how I should think, I should be helping the others out of sin but instead I'm going down with them. Why is this not a choice? Sin is a choice but this isn't.
Me: Anna I... I don't think I'm straight
Anna: That's ok. I know you might disagree but it's perfectly normal.
Me: I can't handle this anymore
Anna: shh I know do you need anything maybe some water?
Me: please
She doesn't care this is normal to her. I physically can't stop shaking.
Anna: Hey look at me you're ok. Here drink some water.
Me: thanks
I need to stop zoning out. I don't want to think anything too negative but the thoughts won't leave me alone.
Anna: Cath should I get Jane? I think she could help you more.
Me: please just don't tell her why
Anna: ok
I can't think without mentally berating myself. This is getting annoying with all my thoughts stabbing any sanity I have left.
Jane: Catherine are you ok?
Me:... uh can I tell you something
Jane: of course you can
Me: I... I'm not straight
Jane: Is that why you're shaking?
Me: yeah... I know you guys except me but I don't except me.
Jane: Shhh it's ok. You're gonna be fine. Maybe you should talk to Cathy about writing out how you feel.
Me: That's stupid
Jane: Really I've seen her she goes into her room on the verge of tears and comes out smiling. Just try it and see.
Me:... fine
I guess I can try. It can't hurt me.
Oof
