The ghost of him

Chapter 2

I'm dying. Everything is black, there's nothing around me. I'm all alone. A bright light shines down on me, getting brighter and brighter. I guess there is a god after all, and he's about to take me to the place of eternal life. I wonder what heaven is like? Clouds, bright colors, angels. I'll get to see Grammy and grandpa again, aunt pearl, and all my other relatives.

Now it's the opposite, everything is white. That makes sense. I don't see any clouds though, or angels, but I do hear voices.

"She's waking up," Someone says, their voice quiet, muffled, and distant.

Pain hits me as I start to feel my throbbing headache. I apply pressure where the pain is and slowly sit up, using the railing beside the bed as support. I try to gather more of my surroundings, looking all around me.

Mom and dad are sitting on two chairs next to each other, mom clutching a tissue in her hand and dad clutching the arm rest. My friends mason, Ava, and Abby are also here, leaning up against the wall, worried looks on their faces. I immediately notice the lack of Aaron. The lack of the person I care about the most, who I'd want to be here.

I look down and I'm laying on a firm hospital bed with green sheets. My nose itches and when I go to scratch it, I realize I can't because it's bandaged up. My jaw hurts too, but luckily I don't taste blood in my mouth.

Mom and everyone rushes over to me, mom swarming me with hugs and kisses, dad and my friends settling for a hug.

"Mom? Dad? What happened? Why am I here?" I try to recall what happened, but it's all a blur. That panic feeling starts settling in, where my stomach becomes knots and my palms become sweaty. Waking up in a hospital with bandages on you is never a good sign.

They all look at me and then back at each other, then back at me.

"Do you remember what happened? Anything?" Mom asks me, a hint of worry in her voice. Well, more than a hint.

I shake my head.

"What happened at school...." Dad adds on.

"I-I remember we were on lockdown. And then..." Everything comes at me like a truck. Graphic images of Aaron bleeding out, his blood on my hands and clothes, play in my mind. Zack as he points the gun at himself, his...matter getting everywhere. How scared we all were, that none of us knew if we'd live to see tomorrow. How I was on the phone with Aaron...

"Where is he?!" I demand, raising my voice. There's still a chance Aaron's alive, that my sweater stopped the bleeding enough and he got saved in the hospital.

"Oh." Mom looks down, not ready to see my reaction. "Aaron...he..."

My eyes grow wide but my pupils get smaller, my breathing becoming heavy. "No. nonononononono." I bury my face in my hands and shake my head. Tears start streaming down my face and I feel very lightheaded. It should have been me, not him. I should be the one dead! Or at the very least, have been the one to kill Zack, not himself. He took the easy way out, that bastard!

"It's all my fault," I say. I look over to Abby, Ava, and Mason. "I should have listened to you guys. I put everyone including myself in danger. Aaron didn't even get his justice. Zack killed himself! I should have been the one to kill that bastard!" I put my head down. I don't want to see their reactions.

I feel hands rubbing my back a few seconds later. someone sits down on the bed. I notice from the carpis that it's my mom. "I'm so sorry sweetie. I know he was very important to you."

That would be an understatement. He was my world, my everything. I don't know how I'm going to live without him.

I wipe my tears but I don't say anything. What do I say? 'It's okay.' Definitely not.