The ghost of him

Chapter 23

I'm going to be sick again. My stomach feels like a blender, with the lid not screwed on right, everything about to spew all over the place. I slow down the car, just in case I need to pull over real quick. I take deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. I should've just said I was sick and skipped this weekend. I mean, what's one weekend right? I couldn't though because I'm "better" and dad really wanted to see me.

He's going to be happy too, which will make me feel even more guilty, well it is making me feel guilty, I should say, hence why I'm about to hurl all over the steering wheel. It's too late to turn around, I'm only two minutes away.

I roll down the window to let some air in, even though it's cold outside. That eases my stomach a little, the fresh air hitting my face.

See mom, I feel a little less guilty lying to her because she kind of deserves it in my opinion. Dad, lying to him is even worse. He doesn't deserve it, and I love him a little more.

When I pull into the driveway, the door opens and dad steps out. It looks like there's no Mia today, or she's just inside.

I climb out of the car and the breeze calms me down a lot, thank god.

Dad and I walk towards each other until we meet and he wraps me in a hug as mom did. "There's my baby girl!" He lets go and looks at me. "Your mom has been telling me how well you've been doing."

"Yeah, she has," I say with a half-smile, my voice low.

"I see it too! I'm so glad your back to your old self!"

my old self. Who even was my old self? I can't even remember. I know I was much happier and cheery, but not much else. I might not be my old self ever again.

I look around. "No Mia today?"

"She was busy, and I didn't think you'd want her here."

"What? I love Mia." While that is true, I didn't want her here, and I'm glad she isn't. I need dad all to myself today, no distractions. I also want it to be just like old times, where we go somewhere fun.

"Oh good. I mean I just thought- Never mind." He waves his hands at me. "What do you want to do today?" He asks, changing the subject.

I give him a smirk and look him in the eyes.

"Oh, I know that look." He says, smirking back at me. "Just like old times. Let me get my jacket and we can go."

"Okay."

***

It smells like grease and B.O. Which, in theory, is disgusting, and it is, but it brings me back to my childhood. It is the smell of my favorite place. The place I had most of my birthday parties, the place where I got the scar on the inside of my arm, Most of my childhood memories are at this place.

Kids kingdom. It's got a section for an arcade, a section for a jungle Jim and a rock climbing wall, and even some rides. It has everything, which is why it was my favorite place.

"Isn't it weird we're coming here without a kid?" Dad asks before we go fully inside.

"Maybe a little..." I admit. A grown man and his teenage daughter coming here is a little weird, but who cares what people think?

"For today, you're twelve." He ruffles my hair and messes it up. Usually, I would be angry, but today I'm not complaining.

"Got it." We head inside and dad goes to the machines and puts money in exchange for coins. He grabs them and puts them in his pocket, and then we head over to fooze ball.

"Remember, we had your birthday parties here. What was it, your 4th, 5th...7th...8th...10th...even your 11th was here."

"Yeah," I say looking at the ground.