Insomnia • Akutagawa x Reader x Atsushi

3

Nakajima Atsushi.

Even after he's gone, you feel the warmth radiating from him, like a light enveloping you all over so strong that all your worries are gone and you are just another person shopping, no burdens or pains. Unfortunately, as soon as you are snapped back into reality with the voice of another stranger asking for you to move out of the way in the grocery store aisle, you feel the weight you've been carrying once again, the severity of the physical damage the nightmares caused you taking it's toll.

Soon after the encounter, you check out your items and exit the store with the bag in hand, walking back home in the same state as before, making it to the apartment slower than it took you to get to the store nevertheless. Once you're back inside and have organized your food in your fridge and cupboards, you consider making yourself something to eat until a sudden wave of aching exhaustion hits you, and after drinking a cup of water with a few pain killers in the hopes you'd feel a little better, you decide to set your alarm for work and try to recover some of the sleep you lost.

Collapsing as soon as you're on your mattress, your clock ticks help you drift to sleep despite the fear of dreaming again.

•••

"Your ability is beautiful"

You look at the girl in front of you around the same age as you, her long dark hair contrasted against her pale skin resembling a porcelain doll, her grey eyes as sharp as her brother's, who sits against a wall eyeing the two of you carefully.

"Maybe..." you say back, looking down at your hands with guilt clouding your better judgement.

"It is, it's helped my older brother more than you think."

"I've only helped because you both have helped me more than the rest. I wouldn't be here without you."

"He sleeps better when you use it, I haven't seen him like that in a long time."

You tilt your head slightly in confusion when she completely ignores what you've said, her eyes glancing to her brother behind her with a gentler look on her face.

That's when you realize she doesn't care about your reason, only that her and her brother are fine. At that moment, you feel a pang in your heart at the care the siblings obviously have for each other, a small jealousy in child you's heart sparking.

It's always been just you. With the exception of these two, you've always chosen yourself above everyone else, you've always felt you have to.

Who else would?

Your ability was yours. You didn't want to suffer for anyone else because no one else suffered for you.

Until, of course, they all did because of you and you never saw them again.

Or at least, you never did until one night in a tea shop you never would have imagined years ago as you let sickness take you in the slums.

•••

With a loud, obnoxious ring, your alarm wakes you up from your sleep, your body sweating and your muscles feeling weak as if hit with a fever, your breathing slow as you try to re-grasp reality. You aren't sure why all your past memories are deciding to re-appear, though you suspect it has to do with the affect seeing Akutagawa and using your ability on him has had on you. You just don't understand why it's been so painful.

I want it to stop.

I didn't want to remember.

I was only curious seeing him again.

Getting up, you decide to shower before getting ready for work, hair still up as you find black pants and a white blouse to go with your work attire, even if being just for a tea-shop. When it's time to go, you leave and wait outside for a taxi to take you to work faster than you could walk, the ride there a blur as you tuned out all your surroundings, the feverish feeling from earlier still sticking to you.

Arriving at the shop, you quickly walk in and put on the tea shop apron set out for you before getting to work as you switch shifts with some of the people already there, managing the rest of the few customer's orders. It's at least an two hours before you take any sort of break, but when you do take one, it is quickly interrupted by a man and his supposed daughter.

"Excuse me, Miss?" The man calls out to you as you walk out of the staff room, stopping you with a tap at your shoulder almost barely noticeable.

Turning to him quizzically, you realize he is an around middle-aged man with dark hair reaching his chin, dressed like a probable doctor with the little girl beside him in a cute red dress smiling at you, her blue eyes big and bright matching her long blonde hair in that she looked almost like a doll.

"Did you need something? If it's about the tea I can help you better behind the counter-"

"Oh no, nothing to do with the service here. No, I was wondering if I could help you. See, I've been hearing that sleeping is something you've been struggling with and as a doctor, naturally I couldn't refuse coming to see you personally. My daughter wouldn't let it go as soon as we heard." The man, extremely charismatic, pulls his daughter closer to him as he talks, eyes cheerful though something strikes you as a bit off.

Who told him that?

"I'm sorry, who told you this?"

"They'd like to stay anonymous."

"Well thank you but I'm fi-"

"Having an ability so physically deteriorating is hard, isn't it?"

As soon as those words hit your ears, you feel your blood turn cold, whole body freezing up and eyes widening in a fearful shock. The man's smile is innocent, but the way he looks at you is the same way a hunter may look snuggly at its cornered prey. The girl next to him simply smiles the whole time, something you find almost eerie.

Who is he?

How does he know?

No one knows, so how does he?!

"You must be mistaken, I-"

"Lying isn't good, Miss!" The little girl interrupts this time, her small, delicate hand landing on your wrist, her smile not ever fading.

What the hell?

With a nervous sigh, you try to calm yourself down as you assess the situation, the gears in your mind turning and still being unable to figure out what was happening.

"What do you want?" You finally ask, making sure no one could heard you in the small shop, you voice soft and cautious.

"To help you. You're tired, I can see it all over your face. You're struggling to get past something too, aren't you? Well what if I told you I could lessen your burden?" The man begins to explain, his low silky voice beginning to show more of its true colours.

Is he being honest?

"How?" You can't help but bite in to the bait being thrown at you, a part of you not caring how he knew all of this about you and instead hoping he really could help, as threatening as he is beginning to sound.

"Well, how about I take you to my clinic and we can sort out the details of our deal there?"