"Never scare me like that again." Jay firmly spoke when Rhea had finally woken up from surgery. She had a long road of recovery ahead of her but one she where she would fully recover.
Despite everything hurting, Rhea tried to get up to reassure her boyfriend that she was fine, "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
"You said that before and he still got you. I almost lost and I have never been more scared in my life. I thought I would never see you again and I didn't know how to handle that. I love you." Jay spoke emotionally as he held her hand.
Rhea exhaled, "I cant promise you that this won't happen again because clearly anything can happen but I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to come back to you. I love you so much and I get what you're feeling because I couldn't handle it if anything happened to you. I'm here."
"I just don't want to lose you, not before I've gotten to spend years with you. I want a future with you, a long future and I get scared that I don't get to have that with you. It might sound silly but I want as long as I can with you." Jay spoke gently.
Rhea pressed a kiss to his hand, "It's not silly. I want a future with you too, a long future. I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I will spend however long we both have showing you that."
"God, I love you woman."
"I could say the same about you."
"How are you doing today?"
It had been a few days since she had been discharged from the hospital and it hadn't been easy. She was more prone to panic attacks, nightmares and constantly shaking from contact with other people. Jay and Will had learnt to ask before she wanted a hug or cuddle but she felt like she wasn't being fair to them or herself. They had been super patient with her and she felt like she was letting them down in some way, even if they told her otherwise. The last straw had been when she had completely broken down in the shower and no one was there to help her.
Rhea sighed, "A little better. I managed to get a solid 7 hours of sleep without any nightmares. I gave Jay a hug this morning without my hands shaking afterwards. I had a full meal this morning without feeling like I needed to throw up."
Dr. Charles nodded, "That's progress. I'm going to be honest with you. This is going to be a long road, one with many bumps but I know you can get through this. You survived. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."
"Then why do I feel like nothing more than a scared child. I have no idea how to move forward. I clearly can't forget what happened because it always creeps up on me when I least expect it. I want to be able to hug my friends and be intimate with my boyfriend but I feel broken and I have no idea what to do." Rhea cried. It felt good to get everything out in the open without any judgement.
Dr. Charles smiled faintly, "You just took the first step. You are going to move forward but you're not going to do it alone,p. You have friends and family that care about you and it's okay to rely on them. You're healing and surrounding yourself with positivity can help. Everyday is a battle, everyday is a new day but you will move forward and only you can do that for yourself."
"You make is sound so easy."
"Maybe you're just being hard on yourself."