ateez one-shots

self torment - park seonghwa

The steam of the shower fogged up the glass screens as you washed the conditioner out of your hair. It was almost as relaxing as what it felt to be in the arms of your beloved boyfriend.

He was currently resting in your shared bed, having only just returned from a two month tour with his group.

     You let out a deep exhale as you turned off the water, stepping out into the cool space of your en-suite.

It didn't take you too long to dry yourself off with our towel. Being in the middle of summer, you only slipped into some underwear and one of your boyfriend's shirts.

     "Okay, now we can commence the movie night!" You exclaim happily, entering the room. However, you find yourself coming to a halt by the door as you notice Seonghwa seated in the bed, tears flowing down his cheeks at a steady rate.

     Wordlessly, you rush over to the bed, slipping beneath the blankets as you wrap your arms around him, immediately pulling him into your embrace.

     "Baby, what's wrong?" You ask him in a soothing tone. A sob escapes from his throat as he just leans into you further.

You trace circles on his back, your other hand combing through his ebony hair as you remind him to breathe. He manages to slow his tears enough to be able to speak as he lets out a shaky exhale.

"I just feel really guilty," He wipes his nose on the back of his sleeve. "I always spend so long away from you and half the time I come home having injured myself. Not only does that affect you, but it isn't fair on the members who all train so hard with me to just have to train on performing without me."

"Hwa," You call his name softly, pressing your lips to the crown of his head in a chaste kiss.

He only resumes his cries, causing for you to feel a further wave of pain from seeing him this way. Towards the end of this tour, Seonghwa had sprained his waist and had been unable to perform for the final week of shows.

"I got into a relationship with you fully knowing that there would be time apart and I assure you that whilst I miss you, I am always okay. We still call each other and it just makes the time we get even more special," You hope you're sounding reassuring.

Choosing the right words had never been one of your strengths.
"People get injured all the time, especially when they work themselves too hard. What you need to do is take the necessary rest in order to recover so you can be back on the stage so soon, it will be like you were never absent. You have to let me take care of you so you don't put any strain on yourself."

Seonghwa has slowly started to calm down with each word he hears you saying.

"You put too much pressure on yourself," This is a phrase you had told him quite often.

"I just want to make you proud," He whispers, wrapping his arms around your waist. "I just want to make everyone proud of me."

"I'm always proud of you, Seonghwa," You reaffirm. "There has never been a time where I haven't been thinking about how lucky I am to have such a wonderfully talented man by my side."

Seonghwa goes silent as he hears this, unable to conjure the words which could express how grateful he is for you.

To you, his silence says more than enough. You smile softly as you adjust one of your hands to be caressing his cheek.

"You know, Woo texted me earlier saying that no matter how excited I am to see you again, I am not allowed to fuck you because it will put you in too much pain. He apologised as well," You chuckle as you recall the thread of texts.

Something immediately changes in your boyfriend as he hears this. He stays leaning into you before raising his head to press a gentle kiss to your jaw.

"My mouth isn't broken," He murmurs. "Nor is my tongue, or my fingers."

"No," You laugh, the vibrations going through Seonghwa's torso. "I quite frankly agree with Wooyoung. Besides, just because we haven't seen each other ages means we have to have sex."

At your boyfriend's pout, you pull him off you enough to peck his lips.

"I would much rather wait until you are fully able before we had sex anyways," You state with an undertone of seduction.

Seonghwa seems to be able to settle for this as he just buried his face into the crook of your neck.

"I love you," He remarks, soaking in the comfort of your warm embrace and your scent.

"I love you too," You tighten your embrace. "Even if you are kind of stupid for injuring yourself."

He playfully hits your back, causing for you both to giggle as you just remain in each other's arms.