Ignite the Stars | Reader x Ben Solo / Kylo Ren

Ch. 5 | The Truth About Monsters

The truth is this:
Every monster you have met
or will ever meet was once a human being with a soul that was as soft and light as silk.
Someone stole that silk from their soul and turned them into this.
So when you see a monster
next always remember.
Do not fear the thing before you.
Fear the thing that created it instead.

Nikita Gill- The Truth About Monsters

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With sore muscles, burning lungs, and a cramp in your side, you run faster than you thought possible in the direction of the explosions. After the first one they seemed to be happening more frequently. Maz's castle is the only thing of notoriety on Takodana which means the castle is under attack and the aggressors are more than likely the First Order. You want to wait for Ben or make sure he's following you at least but you can't slow down. All you can think about is Maz and the possibility she may either be hurt or captured. She's very well known across the galaxy and not for the best reasons. Maz is the toughest, smartest, and wisest person you have ever met. Realistically she doesn't need anyone to help her and she definitely doesn't need anyone to worry about her. Yet you can't stop yourself. She's one of the only people you've met since Luke that you trusted.

The castle came into view right when you thought you couldn't run anymore. As expected, two transport ships had landed. Stormtroopers are scattered in front of the castle with their blasters aimed and firing. There are random people hiding behind remnants of walls or debris shooting back at them. You quickly scan the chaos unfolding in front of you until your eyes land on Maz. You aren't surprised to locate her in the middle of the battle. What does surprise you is who she's with. Poe is standing fairly close to her and blasting at various troopers. Nearby him is an older man and a very very big Wookie. It's obvious the older man and the Wookie weren't just passing through Takodana when the castle was attacked. They're close with Maz from what you can tell at least.

Your hand immediately goes to your saber when you notice movement out of the corner of your eye. Three stormtroopers begin shooting in your direction but their blasts are easily dodged and reversed. A fourth trooper tries to sneak up on you but before he can get close he's thrown into a tree, seemingly on his accord. Glancing over your shoulder you can see Ben standing behind you with his hand outstretched towards the trooper.

"Ben we have to help them! Maz. . her castle. . We can't leave them! They're outnumbered. She's. . she's practically family. She's one of the only people I trust. Please," you beg.

You knew he didn't want to help, not because of the First Order, but because of whatever relationship he has with Maz. Expecting him to either tell you he would help or that you were on your own, you were surprised when he did neither.

"One of the people you trust? Who are the others?" he asks. The emotions stirring inside him betray the emotionless mask he's once again donned. His face says he doesn't care whether or not you trust him but what he's feeling suggests otherwise. He's nervous and almost desperate for you to trust him. He wants you to need him and he wants you to want him. He's afraid of being alone again but there's an underlying desperation to his need for your trust. It isn't completely due to him wanting to be close to you like you originally assumed. There's something else to it. Something you can't place and it makes you uncomfortable. Slowly, you feel his anger rise as the two of you stand staring at one another in silence.

Ben does his best to keep his emotions under control but he knows he's failing. He has never been good at controlling his emotions and the situation he's found himself in is definitely an emotional one. He wants so badly to make you happy, to help you help your friends but they aren't just your friends. Maz knows him very well and would expose him the moment she lays eyes on him. Han Solo and Chewbacca are with her. The familiar combination of anger, betrayal, and abandonment skyrockets. Not realizing he's still making eye contact with you, he shakes his head slightly as if it will clear his mind. Glancing back at the battle ahead of you before meeting your eyes, he quickly devises a plan. He knows what he has to do but he doesn't know if he has the strength to do it. Deep down, under the darkness that has been trying to take over the remaining light, he isn't sure he wants to do it. The voice inside his head senses his conflict and chooses that moment to interject.