Ignite the Stars | Reader x Ben Solo / Kylo Ren

Ch. 6 | Beast Within

"I wanna tear this place apart tonight
And have you thank me for my rage
Tell me what you came for
Can I give you just a taste?"

In This Moment - Beast Within

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With a loud gasp you roll to your side and off of the bench you've been sleeping on. Before you can hit the floor, two large furry arms wrap around you and lift you up. Not bothering to check to see who it is, you frantically try to catch your breath. Han and Poe come running down the corridor moments later. You don't realize tears are streaming down your face until Chewbacca lifts his huge furry hand and wipes your cheeks a little rougher than he intended. You can't help but laugh at how sweet the gesture is coming from a gigantic terrifying Wookie. The look on Poe's face suggests you look maniacal while you laugh and sob at the same time. "Thanks Chewie." Sniffling, you give him the best smile you can muster while crying. He growls and ruffles your already messy hair with one of his large hands. The gesture is extremely endearing. It's hard not to chastise yourself for getting attached to people you barely know. That obviously hasn't worked in your favor so far.

"Are you okay?" Poe asks with genuine concern as he places a hand on each of your shoulders. He holds you at arms length and scans you as if he can detect why you're upset with his eyes alone. Without answering his question, you glance at Han and hold his gaze. Thankfully, he gets the hint and knows you want to talk to him alone. He may not be Force sensitive but he's smart and observant and that's just as good.

"Hey Chewie, can you and Poe make sure the Falcon is headed in the right direction?" Chewie's eyes dart from Han to you before he gives you both a small nod of understanding and turns to leave. Poe begins to protest but doesn't get a word out. Chewie grabs him by the arm, a little rough but you doubt this time it's unintentional, and yanks him towards the cockpit.

Han sighs, which seems to be a regular occurrence, and sits down next to the dejarik table. He runs his hands through his hair and stares at the floor as you sit down beside him. "Maz said you have a connection with Ben. . a . . deeper connection that the normal 'boyfriend-girlfriend' thing," he says awkwardly. It's obvious he didn't expect he'd have to have any sort of conversation with a girl that his son seemed to have feelings for. "Is that why you were upset when you saw him at Maz's place?"

Your eyes begin to well up with tears again and it pisses you off. The tears that fall are now full of anger and hurt not sadness. The mere mention of Ben and what you've witnessed enrages you. "I'm sorry. I rarely cry over shit like this. . I actually never cry over anything. I'm not even sad anymore! I'm pissed off and . . and hurt! This is why I don't get close to anyone! I know better than to trust anyone but I'm an idiot and started to trust Ben," you jump to your feet and begin to pace. "This whole thing is so . .so stupid! I shouldn't be so upset over him. I've don't even really know him. I don't know how to explain what is going on between us. I don't understand it and I don't think he does either but yes, we do have some sort of connection or bond. I liked it at first but now.  . now I wish we didn't," you say quietly and sit back down next to him. He's chewing the inside of his cheek the way Ben does and bounces his knee nervously while watching you wipe your face on your dirty tattered cowl.

"I'm glad you got the hint and realized I wanted to talk to you alone by the way. There's a few things. . well. . I don't think Poe will be as understanding as Chewie and I don't feel like arguing with the only friend I might have. Even though I'm beyond pissed with Ben or Kylo, if someone talks shit about him I, more than likely, won't keep my mouth shut. I doubt his attitude towards Ben has changed since the last conversation you guys had about him and I-"