Sehnsucht •KookV•

vierzehn

"Das Leben ist kein Ponyhof"
-You can't always get what you want-

-

Sunlight filtered through the pale curtains, falling over Taehyung's face as it lighted up. His cheeks were flushed red, lips parted and swollen and hair astray on the white pillow. Jungkook looked at the younger male, a soft smile on his face. His hand rested on the younger's waist, pulling him flush against himself. 

He reached out his other hand, pushing back a strand of hair from Taehyung's eyes, letting his hand rest on the younger's jaw. He smiled wider as Taehyung cuddled up to him, burying his face in Jungkook's chest. Jungkook kissed the top of the younger's head, making the other open his eyes and look up.

Taehyung blinked his eyes a few times, getting used to the bright light outside. He looked at Jungkook in confusion for a moment before a red blush overtook his features. He closed his eyes tightly, whining as he buried his face in the older's shoulder. Jungkook chuckled, letting the younger calm down a bit.

Taehyung looked up after a few minutes, pink still dusting his cheeks. Jungkook smiled at him before he leaned down, stealing a kiss from the plump lips. "You look beautiful." He whispered as he pulled away, his hand resting on Taehyung's jaw. The younger bit his lip, trying to hide the smile on his face.

Jungkook leaned forward, raining kisses on the younger's face as his hands held the other's waist firmly. Taehyung giggles as he tried to get away from Jungkook, getting tangled up in the sheets as the older tickled him. A smile spread on their faces as Jungkook leaned down, resting his forehead on Taehyung's as he looked at the younger's shiny eyes. 

"I love you." He whispered as he held the younger's face in his hands like he was his whole world. And maybe, he was. Taehyung blushed as he smiled. "I love you too." His heart ached as he let out the words, his mind screaming at him to tell Jungkook the truth. But for whatever reason, he held back, indulging himself in that moment.

-

-January-

"Have you told Jungkook about this yet?" Seokjin asked as he looked at the younger male sitting right in front of him. They were sitting in a conference hall, chairs all around them and a large glass table in the middle. The room was empty, the others having already left.

The brunette looked up, shaking his head and averting his eyes. Seokjin sighed as he stood up, going around the table and pulling the younger into a warm embrace. "You should tell him, Tae. He deserves to know." He said softly as he patted the brunette's head. Taehyung nodded against the older's shoulder, holding onto him as he hid his face.

For the first time in years, he felt ashamed of who he was. He felt vulnerable and guilty like he had felt 8 years ago. He felt his facade crumbling right in front of his eyes, his persona slipping away from him. His heart beat erratically, tears welling up in his eyes as he thought of the consequences.

Death. He had never feared death before this. After all, he had no one waiting on him, no one looking forward to him returning home and no one giving him even a drop of love. He felt afraid of the consequence. He didn't want to die like this. He wanted a life with Jungkook, he wanted to grow old with Jungkook, spend time with Jungkook. He wanted a family with Jungkook.

In his eyes, he wasn't anything without Jungkook. The older was everywhere, like a drug running in his veins, making him crave the taste of affection and want more. He was addicted to the love he never had. But it all seemed far-fetched, too good to be true. He took a deep breath, coming to a decision.