Fanfics

Emily's heart part one - by starsandharts

Emily's Heart - Part One
...
Now
The ground is hard.
Her heart feels harder.
Like cement has filled it, turning it to rock and letting nothing in nor out; no blood, no feeling, no pain. It's been closed off, sealed, transformed into simply another lifeless object that just so happens to reside inside her chest.
How did she get here? Lying on warm concrete, feet almost touching where stone slab becomes grass, knuckles stinging from a punch that she barely remembers giving. She lifts her head and squints in the sunlight. She should probably get up.
But the ground is being kind to her.
Maybe she'll stay down here for a little longer. Until the repercussions start, at least. Because they will start.
She closes her eyes again and waits for the backlash, waits for the slamming fists in the distance on her front door, waits for the running footsteps as someone charges round the house to find her. Waits for the shouting, the accusations, maybe a bruised eye of her own.
She waits.
Emily waits.
...
Then
"I love you."
"I love you more."
"No," Emily whispers seriously. "You don't. I don't think you understand. I love you so much I can feel it in the fingertips. I can feel it in my eyelashes and in my ears, and yeah that might be kinda impossible, but I think how much I love you is kinda impossible."
Soft lips press quickly in a gentle kiss against her nose.
"You are a dork, and I'll let you win this one. But only because I know if I don't, you'll get mad and play video games until you cool down, and I'll miss you if that happens. So yes, you love me the most."
Emily nods slightly in approval against the back of the wooden deck chair.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Those soft lips brush against Emily's cheek bone, then her jaw, then her own lips where they stay, smiling, before Emily leans forward and captures them. The kiss is slow and gentle and matches the golden evening around them, the sun setting and casting an orange glow across the garden, staining their skin with fading sunshine.
"I love you." Emily whispers once more.
"I love you too." Hannah murmurs back.
The kiss deepens. The sky darkens.
Hannah and Emily stay alight.
...
Now

Emily's not felt like this in quite a while.

She thought she wouldn't feel like it ever again.

But here she was, standing in her kitchen gazing at a rapidly filling sink.

Cups bob in the water and bubbles slide over plates. The water is rising still, filling hollow objects and sending them to the bottom of the sink, hiding everything with it's increasing level. Emily can see it happening, she's watching it, but it doesn't seem important.

Her heart is still hard.

She's breathing, she recognizes. She's alive and she's here, of course; she always has been after. After these situations. This is the third time now, the third. She's stopped wondering if there's something wrong with her; she's fully accepted that there must be.

But not a bad wrong.

A good wrong.

She's come to the conclusion that she cares too much, she trusts too much, she puts too much faith in people. She loves too much. Giving the benefit of the doubt is her special skill, which she loves, but this is the third time this has happened. The third time.

She's not sure how she keeps letting it happen.

As water sloshes over the side of the sink and counter, Emily wonders if she'll ever stop loving so much. Things come in three, after all, so maybe this was a sign. A sign to change. Water runs steadily over her bare feet and it's warm, like standing in a puddle heated by sunshine. She thinks about the science of it; will the cups and plates eventually float over the side too? Will they get carried by the force of water and crash to the floor? She decides to wait and see.

Her heart is still solid. She's never been good at dealing with this situation. But at least her car is fine, and nothing is on fire. Yet.

Those last two times were difficult.

Her gaze feels steely. She can feel how blank it is and how hard. She supposes she looks empty.

Maybe she deserves to feel empty. Maybe she doesn't. She's not really sure how it works anymore. Right now. She's not sure.

The water doesn't stop because she hasn't turned the faucet off, obviously. It's covered the tiles nicely now and if she moves, she can wade through it. It's like paddling at the beach. She and Hannah loved to paddle at the beach. Emily smiles down at the water; it's very refreshing. She'll leave it running a little longer.

...

Then

"Grace, this is Emily."

"Oh my gosh, it's great to finally meet you. I've heard so much!"

Grace's fingers are longer than Emily's and they're soft. Emily takes her hand and smiles up at the taller woman.

"Same here, Grace."

The tall brunette grins and then raises an eyebrow at Hannah, who's standing with her hand held gently against Emily's lower back.

"As long as she didn't tell you any drunk stories, then cool."

Emily glances at Hannah's faux awkward face and joins in the laughter shared between the best friends. Grace takes a step backwards and then spins, heading towards a refrigerator.

"Do you guys want something to drink?" She throws over her shoulder, brown hair flying and settling with the sharp turn of her head.

"What are we talking here?" Emily replies, moving forwards at the gentle push from Hannah's hand. "Drinks wise."

Grace turns and winks.

"Anything you want, sweetheart. I got tea, beer, coffee, juice, wine, etc. You're my guest."

"I'd love a coffee, please." Emily smiles.

Grace nods and smirks.

"You're my kinda gal, Emily." She says. "Hannah, learn from her."

Emily laughs as Hannah opens her mouth in defiance.

"I can't help that I hate coffee!" She says in mock annoyance, and Emily leans over and kisses her cheek.

"Aw babe, shh. You don't need to do anything you don't want. We won't pressure you."

Hannah scowls but moves her hand to Emily's waist, squeezing it, and Emily kisses her cheek again as Grace laughs loudly.

It's a nice laugh.

Grace hands Hannah a cup and a tea bag, she must know by heart what Hannah likes, and then takes two more over to a coffee machine before flicking it on and turning to face herself and Hannah, leaning back against the counter.

"Emily, your hair is amazing." Grace says honestly, staring around Emily's face. "Is it natural?"

"Yeah, actually." Emily can't help but lift her hand to her hair, running her fingers through thick waves. "Natural red head."

"So pretty." Grace says, eyes wide and focused. "Mamrie will hate you, she'll be so jealous."

She'd heard about Mamrie, Hannah's other best friend. Full of jokes and sharp wit and attitude, but Hannah had assured her that Mamrie was fantastic; Emily was excited to meet her, too.

"Not as jealous as I am of her boobs." Emily says casually. "Have you seen them? Well of course you have. But like... have you seen them? Whenever she bends over in a video I feel like I'm about to have an aneurism."

Grace bursts out laughing as Hannah shakes her head and grumbles, pinching Emily's side. The coffee machine stops and Grace adds milk to a cup before handing it over.

"I like you, Emily." Grace says with a smile, her brown eyes twinkling and her gaze warm. It's almost kind of piercing. Emily takes her cup and stares back at Grace, feeling her cheeks stretch as she starts to grin herself. Their fingers touch softly as the redhead takes the cup.

"I like you too, Grace," She replies. "You're alright."

Grace keeps their eyes locked for a second more.

"Alright." The brunette says with a smile.

Then she laughs.

Emily laughs too.

She likes Grace. Grace is alright.

...