Fanfics

One throwaway sentence part 1 - by yotoob

Grace thinks Hannah might be the most honest person she's ever known. It is sort of exhausting, because Grace wonders sometimes whether she has forgotten how to be honest, whether all the hours of an act in front of a camera means she doesn't have a honest setting, any more.
"Hannah, you really don't need to tell me how much better everything is now I'm in LA. I don't know what to do with that information."
Hannah shrugs happily at her from across the room, and then tosses a bag of chips towards her, which Grace attempts and fails to catch with one hand.
"Whatever Grace, you don't have to do anything with the information. I just like telling you. It is. You're like my best friend, and now I get to see you all the time."
See? There she goes again, with the honesty. Grace leans sides ways in her chair to retrieve the chips, and pours half the bag in the bowl in front of her. Mentally she tries to calculate how long they've been hanging out together. It can't really be more than half a year. Is this how best friends work? Grace had been under the impression that best friendship status was something that you built carefully, over time.
"Hannah. I don't... what do you mean, best friend?"
Hannah gives her a look, and then slides some dip over to Grace, before sitting opposite her, sandwich in hand.
"What's my definition of best friend...? Ahhh.... The person I most look forward to spending time with. That's you. What is with all the validation, dude? Do you want a sash, or something? Hannah Hart's official best friend?"
Grace is blushing, and what? Why is she blushing? Stop it.
"Okay, shut up, you're freaking me out. You hardly know me. You have friends that you have been closer to for way longer, like, um, and there's Pearl, and you know. All the other people."
Hannah shrugs, and takes a bite out of her sandwich, speaking around it.
"Yeah, but they don't live on the other side of the country. I don't exactly look forward to seeing Pearl, she's usually just in the next room. Like, look...' Hannah raises her voice, 'Pearl?"
"What?"
"I miss you."
"What?"
"I said I miss you, I'm looking forward to hanging out with you."
"What?" This time Pearl wheels her office chair around the corner, and stares, bewildered, at Hannah, who just smiles. Pearl squints at her.
"Okay..." she says cautiously, glancing at Grace to check that she was looking just as confused. Grace shrugs helpfully, and Pearl returns her attention to Hannah.
"If you were looking for a way to express how much you miss me, you could make me a drink?"
Hannah nods, and claps her hands together.
"Sure thing, what do you want?"
"Coffee, please." Pearl glances once more at Grace, as if confirming this wasn't some kind of elaborate, unfunny joke, and then waves a hand, rolling herself back towards her desk. Hannah catches Grace's eye from the kitchen, and raises her eyebrows, as if to say see?
Grace doesn't know what there is to see, apart from the fact that Hannah is still too honest, with everyone.
...
Later, they end up squashed into Hannah and Pearl's slightly too small couch, watching re-runs of Parks and Rec.
Maybe Amy Poehler is her best friend, by Hannah's definition. Grace had certainly looked forward to meeting her a lot.
Maybe Grace isn't made for human emotions. She doesn't even know who her best friend is. Mamrie, probably, but in one of those comfortable areas in which neither of them need to say it because who even uses the phrase 'best friend' past the age of twenty? At least Mamrie doesn't just announce these things.
Oh god, what if Hannah is expecting her to say it back? Is that what is happening here? What is the etiquette? Is this like, the awkward silence after someone doesn't say I love you back? Grace doesn't know, and hates that she doesn't know, and godammit Hannah Hart. Keep your best friend announcement to yourself.
Hannah laughs at something that is happening on the screen, and Grace tries to concentrate, and laughs in a way that sounds really false in her head.
Hannah glances at her, and apparently senses the near aneurism Grace is methodically constructing in her own head, because she reaches out, and squeezes gently at her ankle.
"You okay Gracie?"
A different set of cogs mesh in Grace's brain, and suddenly there is a whole new line of questions.
"If I'm living here now, and I'm easier to hang out with, does that mean that I'll start dropping down the rankings of best friend?"
Hannah gives her a look of you are actually crazy and that's fair, it must be about three hours since the best friend conversation.
"Okay, um. Are we back to this? Ahhhh, yeah, maybe? Who's to say that Mamrie won't end up on the top of the pile? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that."
Grace can't help but make an unimpressed face at that, one that she thinks comes specifically from her videos, and why doesn't she have a set of real life emotions, for real life?
"What the fuck? Mamrie is... she's mine, she was mine first, she can't be your best friend."
Hannah laughs big at her, and then just waves a vague fist at her.
"To the death, Helbig. A fight for Mamrie's emotions."
Outrage. Complete outrage.
"What! You can't just dump me as your best friend, and then steal Mamrie. This is abuse. Fuck you Hannah Hart. Fuck you forever and ever."
Hannah flips her off, and returns to the screen, shit eating grin on her face.
"Oh, Grace. Maybe it would be safer for you to move back to New York. Less trauma, and no competition for top spot."
Grace doesn't have anything to say to that, and also can remember Hannah's eagerness to help her move boxes and unpack and just bounce around the new apartment together. She figures she is secure at top spot for a little while.
"Oh please, like you wouldn't cry like a baby if I did."
Hannah glances over at her, and then grabs for her hand, petting once as if it is some kind of creature.
"I actually would. Please don't. I'll make you that sash."
Grace laughs, and shakes her off, tries to shake off all the honesty. Hannah goes back to the screen, grinning to herself. Grace deliberately stops watching her face, and attempts to pick up the plot again.
...
On the way back to the apartment (not 'her apartment' yet. Not yet) Grace muses over the conversation, wondering if Hannah thinks about all the things that she says before they come out of her mouth, and if she knows how off balance they make Grace feel.
It's only because normal people don't operate like that. Normal people don't talk about being best friends.
Grace makes a conscious effort to stop thinking about it, and concentrates on the unfamiliar road, worried about missing her junction.
Maybe normal people don't deconstruct one throwaway sentence as much as Grace is doing right now.
Maybe Hannah refers to all of her friends as her best friend. That's exactly the sort of inclusive happy go lucky shit that girl would pull.
Grace has no idea why she is freaking out over this.
She just knows that top spot feels really important.