Black and Blue

Chapter 5

It's 3am and Rolland is still awake, trying to digest whatever happened that day. After coming back from Matthew's place, he shut himself down in his room and didn't even take dinner. Now he's starving but doesn't want to go eat.

"I'm such a freak!", he muttered to himself. He feels worse then  ever now and just wonders why didn't he jump off after Matthew was gone.

Why?? Why couldn't I control myself? Am I really falling for Matthew? But... He's not like me I guess, he'll never accept me. Moreover, now that he knows about me.... I don't think he'll behave any better with me. I barely know him and what made me fall for him? Argh I hate myself!

That's what Rolland was thinking. He feels like shìt presently as he risked too much.

"Maybe I should just avoid him... ", he whispered as he put on his earphones to listen to some songs but it made him even more sad but he's ok with it.

As the music seeps into him, he feels peace even with an aching heart. He gripped one of his pillows tightly as he thrived for Matthew's warmth, his touch that sent sparks through Rolland's body.
Slowly, and then all at once, he fell asleep.

Rolland woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He slowly opened his eyes and picked it up, not seeing who was it.

"Hello?"

"Rolland, prepare your breakfast and call your school later. I'm in my office and Noah's at school. Bye."

"Ok mom. Bye"

Alright, so he overslept and missed school. Not bad though. He sleepily looks at the time and it's almost noon. He quickly cleans himself and prepares a sandwich and eats it.

He then called up his school and told them that he was sick and needed to take rest, which they believed.

His head was still paining at the thought of losing Matthew, which he probably did. So, to distract himself, he decided to read.

Soon enough Noah was back and after some time his mom too. He didn't want to stay at home so he went for a walk.

He thought of avoiding the bridge, but then thought that after what happened Matthew won't come anyways, so he went there.

He liked being at his usual spot at the bridge. Mostly because he could see the sky and the water perfectly and feel the air and just think in peace. Think as in really think. 

Rolland was in a daze just standing there, when he suddenly saw Matthew running in a black hoodie and a track pant. Rolland wanted to go up to him and say sorry, but he couldn't just do that now could he?

Matthew caught Rolland staring, and he stopped running a forced a small smile just to not get awkward but failed miserably as it was one of the most awkward things that's happened to them.
There was a long silence which Rolland decided to break.

"Uh hi"

"Hi"

"So, eh where are you going? "

"Um no where, just came for a run"

"Oh okay."

"Um..... I guess we need to talk", it was Matthew who actually brought it up.

Rolland nodded slightly as he got all sweaty and started shaking along with getting butterflies in his stomach. All at once.

" I um I'm sorry."

Rolland was caught off guard. "Uh why?"

"Because, you know what happened"

"No.... It was my fault, I should have been more careful"

"Careful?"

Rolland's breathing was fast and he let out a sigh and said, " I didn't want you to know it, I -"

"You didn't want me to know what?"

"Wait... You don't know?"

"Nope. But now that you brought it up you gotta tell me. You're hiding something from me I guess?"

Rolland took a deep breath a said, " I told you that my mom hates me and the people at my school bullies me, I didn't really tell you the main reason. It's.... It's because I'm gay." He looked down.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't want to lose the only person I had in my life. But - but that day I couldn't stop myself I'm really sorry. "

"Oh... "
There was a long, awkward silence. Rolland kept staring at the ground, too scared to look into Matthew's eyes.

"Your sexuality doesn't change your personality and my affection for you too, remains the same.", Matthew said after a while with a cute smirk on his face.

Rolland's face lit up as he looked at Matthew, and smiled.
" Thanks", he said slowly as he hugged Matthew, "you're the only person I've got, and you're the best."

Matthew smiled and said, breaking the hug, " You thought that all your strings had broken, but you didn't see a new one coming."

Rolland just smiled.

Just then, Matthew's phone rang and he picked up the call, it was Sara, Matthew's 'friend'.

"Hey", Sara said in her soft voice.

" Hey"

"Um.... There's a party tonight wt my place, so um I was wondering if you would like to come?"

"Yeah sure, mind if I bring a friend of mine? "

"Not at all. I'd like it."

"Alright thanks. Bye"

"Bye"

He hung up and looked at Rolland, "You're going to the party with me."

"Um... Me? But-"

"No buts. Be ready by nine, we can walk to the party together, it's not far from your place."

"Uh... Okay if you say so. "

"Awesome! Okay, see ya later!"

"Yeah"

With that they parted ways and went home. Rolland felt much better now and he couldn't stop thinking about Matthew.

'Argh stop thinking about him! You're not in love  so shut up!',  Rolland told himself.

Uh this guy really is trying hard to not fall for Matthew. But, how long is he gonna lie to himself?